Sick jokes

[Hyperv12]

Whats yellow and lives off dead beetles?




Yoko Ono.

[disco.moon]

Bump.


I know it's been mentioned most likely, but my son just told a dead baby joke.

What's the difference between a Ferrari and 50 dead babies?

I don't have a Ferrari in my garage

Hehe

[saltydog]

A man was tasked with writing a jingle about tortillas.

After tough negotiations, they eventually settled on a rap.

[Deathproof]

What's the difference between a woman and a refrigerator?

A refrigerator doesn't fart when you take the meat out.

[Deathproof]

What do you say to a woman with two black eyes?

What can you say? You already told her twice.

[Deathproof]

My favorite thing about napalm? It sticks to little kids.

[Bluespruce1964]

The day after his wife disappeared in a kayaking accident, an Anchorage man answered his door to find two grim-faced Alaska State Troopers.

"We're sorry Mr. Wilkens, but we have some information about your wife," said one trooper...

"Tell me! Did you find her?" Wilkens shouted.

The troopers looked at each other. One said, "We have some bad news, some good news, and some really great news. Which do you want to hear first?"

Fearing the worst, an ashen Mr. Wilkens said, "Give me the bad news first."

The trooper said, "I'm sorry to tell you, sir, but this morning we found your wife's body in Kachemak Bay."

"Oh my God!" exclaimed Wilkens. Swallowing hard, he asked, "What's the good news?"

The trooper continued, "When we pulled her up, she had 12 twenty-five pound king crabs and 6 good-size Dungeness crabs clinging to her and we feel you are entitled to a share in the catch."

Stunned, Mr. Wilkens demanded, "If that's the good news, what's the great news?"

The trooper said, "We're going to pull her up again tomorrow."

[Bluespruce1964]

What's the difference between Jesus and a picture of Jesus?

It only takes 1 nail to hang a picture of Jesus.

[Deathproof]

What's the difference between a joke and two dicks?

Slap can't take a joke.

[Deathproof]

A kid asked Slap for help with his homework. "Slap," he asked, "How do you spell scrotum?"

"You should've asked me last night," Slap replied. "It was on the tip of my tongue."

[Deathproof]

If you have a handicapped girlfriend and she dumpster you, steal her wheelchair. I guarantee she'll come crawling back.

[Deathproof]

I gave my blind friend a cheese grater. He told me it was the most violent book he ever read.

[Bluespruce1964]

Police have confirmed that the man who tragically fell from the roof of an 18th floor nightclub was...

not a bouncer.