Words of wisdom from Boss Bob

All the news from the peanut gallery and where all the nasty trash talk fails miserably.
It can get NSFW-ish here: you have been warned!

Moderator: Animal

Post Reply
jsdspif
Tells *VERY* interesting (but true) stories.
Posts: 1061
Joined: Fri Jan 10, 2020 1:37 pm

Words of wisdom from Boss Bob

#1

Post by jsdspif »

Boss Bob said some pretty interesting stuff,when he was in a good mood. One sure giveaway was he'd play his imaginary trumpet and make his trumpet sound. I was talking to another guy that I ran into at the store the other day that used to work with Boss Bob and myself and when we were talking the guy ended up laughing so much he pissed his pants. Anyway, Bob used to say "all toilet paper has 4 and 1/2" squares" .Which back in the 80's I think was true. He'd also say "I hope to shit in your easterbasket" that meant he was answering yes to a question that you asked him. Then there was my favorite "you're talking like a man with a paper asshole",which neither one of us knew what it meant exactly. He said it was just something his dad would say. It kind of meant the person was full of shit and/or the person just didn't know what they were talking about,and/or their idea was just too far fetched. He used to also say he wasn't going to work past 50 years of age. He ended up working until he was 70,got diagnosed with brain cancer and stopped working and was dead about a week later. We had our ups and downs but I actually felt kind of sorry for the guy after learning his end of life story.
User avatar
Stapes
World's Only Blue Collar Guy
Posts: 12853
Joined: Sun Jan 06, 2019 7:50 pm
Location: Port St Lucie former Dirty Jerzey

Re: Words of wisdom from Boss Bob

#2

Post by Stapes »

disco.moon wrote: Wed Jul 14, 2021 4:27 pm
jsdspif wrote: Wed Jul 14, 2021 12:54 pm Boss Bob said some pretty interesting stuff,when he was in a good mood. One sure giveaway was he'd play his imaginary trumpet and make his trumpet sound. I was talking to another guy that I ran into at the store the other day that used to work with Boss Bob and myself and when we were talking the guy ended up laughing so much he pissed his pants. Anyway, Bob used to say "all toilet paper has 4 and 1/2" squares" .Which back in the 80's I think was true. He'd also say "I hope to shit in your easterbasket" that meant he was answering yes to a question that you asked him. Then there was my favorite "you're talking like a man with a paper asshole",which neither one of us knew what it meant exactly. He said it was just something his dad would say. It kind of meant the person was full of shit and/or the person just didn't know what they were talking about,and/or their idea was just too far fetched. He used to also say he wasn't going to work past 50 years of age. He ended up working until he was 70,got diagnosed with brain cancer and stopped working and was dead about a week later. We had our ups and downs but I actually felt kind of sorry for the guy after learning his end of life story.
First thing: What the fuck were y'all talking about that a grown ass man peed himself? And secondly, I really wanna visit this town.


Seriously......if there was ever going to be a UJR meetup it would have to be at the twilght zone known as jsdspifs hometown
I blame Biker.
jsdspif
Tells *VERY* interesting (but true) stories.
Posts: 1061
Joined: Fri Jan 10, 2020 1:37 pm

Re: Words of wisdom from Boss Bob

#3

Post by jsdspif »

I saw the guy and asked him if he had heard Bob passed away and he had. Then I started telling him some bob stories. One of them was "remember when he was in a good mood he'd say "walk this way" and then he'd walk all weird" like monty python ministry of silly walks (or whatever it was called). So as I was telling Bob stories we were both laughing alot. This is my small hometown village grocery store so not a whole lot of traffic but I did notice a couple other people hanging around just to witness all the action. So I said to the guy "how about when he was in a really good mood and would play his imaginary trumpet?" and the guy didn't know what I was talking about,so I did my boss Bob playing the trumpet,he'd pretend like he was holding a trumpet (most of the time unless he was busy with his hands,more on that in a moment) so the guy was "oh yeah " and we were laughing it up and I said "how about the serious mood swings,one second was the trumpet... Like one time he was scrubbing out his coffee cup using a scrub brush we kept at the sink and he was making his trumpet sounds and I told him I wouldn't use that scrub brush if I were you. And he said "why not little buddy" and I said "because Tom was using it to scrub the dog shit off his shoes this morning". So then we both started laughing our asses off and all of a sudden the guy stopped laughing immediately and his eyes got really big and he said "that's never happened to me before" and I was freaked out a little and he said "I just peed my pants a little bit" I looked down at his crotch and sure enough,there was a wet spot there,I could also here someone in the next aisle start laughing,then he and I laughed some more.
That guys name we'll say is jim and my name we'll say is jim ,and when we worked together we had another guy named jim come to work and Bob really had a dillemma on his hands,so much he called the three of us Jim's together for an emergency meeting. We have to do something about what he calls the 3 of us,because it will be total confusion when he calls out for one of us (according to him). So my friend Jim said "you can call me James" and Bob said that's good but there's still 2 jims left and I have to call jim jim,because I'm so used to that. So the new guy said "you can call me tapeworm" and Bob said tapeworm why tapeworm and the new guy said "I ate a 24" sub in 2 minutes one day at my old job,I was really hungry,after that everyone started calling me tapeworm" and Bob said that's no good,I'll never be able to remember that" How the fuck do you not remember that? That's how boss Bob was.
User avatar
CentralTexasCrude
Pumpkin Muppet
Posts: 8281
Joined: Sun Oct 04, 2020 11:07 pm
Location: In the middle of frickin everywhere's bad thoughts.

Re: Words of wisdom from Boss Bob

#4

Post by CentralTexasCrude »

disco.moon wrote: Thu Jul 15, 2021 7:33 pm :lol: awesome.
This guy's been a gem since he joined. A real original poster. :D
User avatar
CentralTexasCrude
Pumpkin Muppet
Posts: 8281
Joined: Sun Oct 04, 2020 11:07 pm
Location: In the middle of frickin everywhere's bad thoughts.

Re: Words of wisdom from Boss Bob

#5

Post by CentralTexasCrude »

disco.moon wrote: Fri Jul 16, 2021 12:50 am
CentralTexasCrude wrote: Fri Jul 16, 2021 12:36 am
disco.moon wrote: Thu Jul 15, 2021 7:33 pm :lol: awesome.
This guy's been a gem since he joined. A real original poster. :D
You don't need to mansplain the board to me sugar ;)
I'm not explaining anything. I've propped this guy since he started serious posting. A real unique posting style. Love the originality.
User avatar
CentralTexasCrude
Pumpkin Muppet
Posts: 8281
Joined: Sun Oct 04, 2020 11:07 pm
Location: In the middle of frickin everywhere's bad thoughts.

Re: Words of wisdom from Boss Bob

#6

Post by CentralTexasCrude »

But then again, with his run on sentences, I think he may reading too many Cormac McCarthy novels.
jsdspif
Tells *VERY* interesting (but true) stories.
Posts: 1061
Joined: Fri Jan 10, 2020 1:37 pm

Re: Words of wisdom from Boss Bob

#7

Post by jsdspif »

I'll probably add to this from time to time. I don't know how I forgot this one,but he said it alot."Your asshole has 7 pounds of pressure". Never quite understood what that means,I don't think he did either,because I'd ask him and he'd just say "your asshole has 7 pounds of pressure". Another thing he really got a kick out of was he waould ask "how long is a chinaman?" I don't know the answer? Forever?
User avatar
peterosehaircut
No life apart from this stupid forum board
Posts: 1899
Joined: Mon Jan 07, 2019 4:30 pm

Re: Words of wisdom from Boss Bob

#8

Post by peterosehaircut »

:shocked:
User avatar
Stapes
World's Only Blue Collar Guy
Posts: 12853
Joined: Sun Jan 06, 2019 7:50 pm
Location: Port St Lucie former Dirty Jerzey

Re: Words of wisdom from Boss Bob

#9

Post by Stapes »

jsdspif wrote: Wed Jul 21, 2021 11:44 am I'll probably add to this from time to time. I don't know how I forgot this one,but he said it alot."Your asshole has 7 pounds of pressure". Never quite understood what that means,I don't think he did either,because I'd ask him and he'd just say "your asshole has 7 pounds of pressure". Another thing he really got a kick out of was he waould ask "how long is a chinaman?" I don't know the answer? Forever?
How Long is the chinamans name. You may now rest easy
I blame Biker.
User avatar
Animal
The Great Pretender
Posts: 28028
Joined: Mon Jan 21, 2019 11:18 pm

Re: Words of wisdom from Boss Bob

#10

Post by Animal »

Stapes wrote: Wed Jul 21, 2021 8:09 pm
jsdspif wrote: Wed Jul 21, 2021 11:44 am I'll probably add to this from time to time. I don't know how I forgot this one,but he said it alot."Your asshole has 7 pounds of pressure". Never quite understood what that means,I don't think he did either,because I'd ask him and he'd just say "your asshole has 7 pounds of pressure". Another thing he really got a kick out of was he waould ask "how long is a chinaman?" I don't know the answer? Forever?
How Long is the chinamans name. You may now rest easy
Howard Long.
jsdspif
Tells *VERY* interesting (but true) stories.
Posts: 1061
Joined: Fri Jan 10, 2020 1:37 pm

Re: Words of wisdom from Boss Bob

#11

Post by jsdspif »

OK ,I think that's the answer,about 40 years too late. So "how long is a chinaman" answer "yes he is". I doubt if Bob and pantyboy knew the answer,someone probably pulled the same rib on Bob. Bob at times was pretty cool. He gave me a small playboy calender from like 1967 or something. He said a guy gave it to him when he was getting started in the trade and he gave it to me. I used the pictures quite a few times. I actually put it in a ziploc and put it under the bottom drawer of my roll around tool box. Somewhere I thought I also stashed some lsd in one of my boxes but I've never found it.
theclap
Needs to step away from the keyboard.
Posts: 577
Joined: Mon Jan 07, 2019 4:45 am

Re: Words of wisdom from Boss Bob

#12

Post by theclap »

disco.moon wrote: Fri Jul 16, 2021 12:50 am
CentralTexasCrude wrote: Fri Jul 16, 2021 12:36 am
disco.moon wrote: Thu Jul 15, 2021 7:33 pm :lol: awesome.
This guy's been a gem since he joined. A real original poster. :D
You don't need to mansplain the board to me sugar ;)
Guys will stop mansplaining once chicks stop womannotunderstanding.
User avatar
DiverTexas
No life apart from this stupid forum board
Posts: 1614
Joined: Mon Jan 07, 2019 1:56 pm

Re: Words of wisdom from Boss Bob

#13

Post by DiverTexas »

theclap wrote: Thu Jul 22, 2021 9:35 pm
disco.moon wrote: Fri Jul 16, 2021 12:50 am
CentralTexasCrude wrote: Fri Jul 16, 2021 12:36 am
disco.moon wrote: Thu Jul 15, 2021 7:33 pm :lol: awesome.
This guy's been a gem since he joined. A real original poster. :D
You don't need to mansplain the board to me sugar ;)
Guys will stop mansplaining once chicks stop womannotunderstanding.
I'm guessing you are single.
theclap
Needs to step away from the keyboard.
Posts: 577
Joined: Mon Jan 07, 2019 4:45 am

Re: Words of wisdom from Boss Bob

#14

Post by theclap »

DiverTexas wrote: Thu Jul 22, 2021 9:52 pm
theclap wrote: Thu Jul 22, 2021 9:35 pm
disco.moon wrote: Fri Jul 16, 2021 12:50 am
CentralTexasCrude wrote: Fri Jul 16, 2021 12:36 am
disco.moon wrote: Thu Jul 15, 2021 7:33 pm :lol: awesome.
This guy's been a gem since he joined. A real original poster. :D
You don't need to mansplain the board to me sugar ;)
Guys will stop mansplaining once chicks stop womannotunderstanding.
I'm guessing you are single.
Not quite... Wait, are you hitting on me?
User avatar
DiverTexas
No life apart from this stupid forum board
Posts: 1614
Joined: Mon Jan 07, 2019 1:56 pm

Re: Words of wisdom from Boss Bob

#15

Post by DiverTexas »

theclap wrote: Thu Jul 22, 2021 10:25 pm
DiverTexas wrote: Thu Jul 22, 2021 9:52 pm
theclap wrote: Thu Jul 22, 2021 9:35 pm
disco.moon wrote: Fri Jul 16, 2021 12:50 am
CentralTexasCrude wrote: Fri Jul 16, 2021 12:36 am
disco.moon wrote: Thu Jul 15, 2021 7:33 pm :lol: awesome.
This guy's been a gem since he joined. A real original poster. :D
You don't need to mansplain the board to me sugar ;)
Guys will stop mansplaining once chicks stop womannotunderstanding.
I'm guessing you are single.
Not quite... Wait, are you hitting on me?
Uh, no. I guess I understand women a little differently than you do.
theclap
Needs to step away from the keyboard.
Posts: 577
Joined: Mon Jan 07, 2019 4:45 am

Re: Words of wisdom from Boss Bob

#16

Post by theclap »

disco.moon wrote: Fri Jul 23, 2021 12:35 am
theclap wrote: Thu Jul 22, 2021 9:35 pm
disco.moon wrote: Fri Jul 16, 2021 12:50 am
CentralTexasCrude wrote: Fri Jul 16, 2021 12:36 am
disco.moon wrote: Thu Jul 15, 2021 7:33 pm :lol: awesome.
This guy's been a gem since he joined. A real original poster. :D
You don't need to mansplain the board to me sugar ;)
Guys will stop mansplaining once chicks stop womannotunderstanding.
Is that what we're gonna do today?.... Fight?
Are you asking me to explain what we're doing today? :D
theclap
Needs to step away from the keyboard.
Posts: 577
Joined: Mon Jan 07, 2019 4:45 am

Re: Words of wisdom from Boss Bob

#17

Post by theclap »

:lol:
jsdspif
Tells *VERY* interesting (but true) stories.
Posts: 1061
Joined: Fri Jan 10, 2020 1:37 pm

Re: Words of wisdom from Boss Bob

#18

Post by jsdspif »

Another one....When I first started working over the summers,I was probably 14 or 15 at the time,I don't remember what I was trying to do but I remember it was an accident waiting to happen ( I didn't know that at the time). A nice guy there saw what I was doing and he corrected my set up and as he was telling me how it should be done Bob happens to walk by and he says "Jim,your dad told you (my dad owned the place but didn't work there,Bob was sort of the boss) not to bother the guys,they have work to do blah,blah" So the guy tells Bob that there was an accident waiting to happen so he was just showing me the correct procedure,and Bob says "how do you expect the kid to learn anything if everyone tells him the proper way of doing things?".
That guy that helped me was really nice around 30 years old and still a virgin and the guys rode him all day every day about that and one day the guy had a nervous breakdown type thing and ended up quitting. Out of all the guys that worked for my parents he was probably the one they liked best and the one they hated to see leave the most. He ended up starting a handyman type business,got married and had children and things turned out pretty good for him.
Post Reply