Greatest athlete in History

[CaptQuint]

A horse is not a fucking athlete.

While I agree with you, keep in mind that people call NASCAR drivers athletes these days (they're not).
If dudes driving in circles are "athletes", when the car is doing all the work, then I can see calling a racehorse an athlete. At least the horse is providing the physical effort.

It's actually harder than you think. I won't go so far as to try and claim they are olympians or anything, but it is quite the wear on the upper body and it's a helluva endurance test. So when I think athlete, it's like the low end. Higher than bowling and even baseball, lower than basketball

If driving is a sport, and drivers are athletes, everybody on the road is an athlete. I'm gonna drive to Portillo's for lunch. To I get a Pepsi endorsement?

Will the temperature be over 100 degrees in your car? Will you lose 6-10 pounds of water weight? Will you be reaching speeds of 180 mph and sustaining that speed for hours? Your comparison sucks.

I have won exactly as many NASCAR races as Danica Patrick has.

And you used twice as many tampons

[Deathproof]

A horse is not a fucking athlete.

While I agree with you, keep in mind that people call NASCAR drivers athletes these days (they're not).
If dudes driving in circles are "athletes", when the car is doing all the work, then I can see calling a racehorse an athlete. At least the horse is providing the physical effort.

It's actually harder than you think. I won't go so far as to try and claim they are olympians or anything, but it is quite the wear on the upper body and it's a helluva endurance test. So when I think athlete, it's like the low end. Higher than bowling and even baseball, lower than basketball

If driving is a sport, and drivers are athletes, everybody on the road is an athlete. I'm gonna drive to Portillo's for lunch. To I get a Pepsi endorsement?

That's like saying everyone that plays basketball on a court is in the NBA. It is a whole other level of driving. We think we can drive well, but just like any other professional sports, we aren't as great as we think.

No, that's nothing like saying that. I never said everyone who drives is in NASCAR. I said if NASCAR drivers are athletes, so is every other person who drives. If the activity -- driving -- is an athletic endeavor, then by definition everyone who engages in it is an athlete.

[kwebber]

While I agree with you, keep in mind that people call NASCAR drivers athletes these days (they're not).
If dudes driving in circles are "athletes", when the car is doing all the work, then I can see calling a racehorse an athlete. At least the horse is providing the physical effort.

It's actually harder than you think. I won't go so far as to try and claim they are olympians or anything, but it is quite the wear on the upper body and it's a helluva endurance test. So when I think athlete, it's like the low end. Higher than bowling and even baseball, lower than basketball

If driving is a sport, and drivers are athletes, everybody on the road is an athlete. I'm gonna drive to Portillo's for lunch. To I get a Pepsi endorsement?

Will the temperature be over 100 degrees in your car? Will you lose 6-10 pounds of water weight? Will you be reaching speeds of 180 mph and sustaining that speed for hours? Your comparison sucks.

I have won exactly as many NASCAR races as Danica Patrick has.

And you used twice as many tampons

[Blast]

Never claimed to be, best I ever did was just under 20 minutes for a three mile, 50 minutes or so for 6, 12 was for fun, and 4 hours 7 minutes in my marathon. That was before the torn up knee. Too bad, I always was able to clear my head when running.

Oh and quit jerking off to my picture, you little pinko bastard.

[Blast]

i'm not sure if competitive eaters qualify as athletes.

I was an alternate for the U.S. beer drinking team.

[necronomous]

A horse is not a fucking athlete.

While I agree with you, keep in mind that people call NASCAR drivers athletes these days (they're not).
If dudes driving in circles are "athletes", when the car is doing all the work, then I can see calling a racehorse an athlete. At least the horse is providing the physical effort.

It's actually harder than you think. I won't go so far as to try and claim they are olympians or anything, but it is quite the wear on the upper body and it's a helluva endurance test. So when I think athlete, it's like the low end. Higher than bowling and even baseball, lower than basketball

If driving is a sport, and drivers are athletes, everybody on the road is an athlete. I'm gonna drive to Portillo's for lunch. To I get a Pepsi endorsement?

That's like saying everyone that plays basketball on a court is in the NBA. It is a whole other level of driving. We think we can drive well, but just like any other professional sports, we aren't as great as we think.

No, that's nothing like saying that. I never said everyone who drives is in NASCAR. I said if NASCAR drivers are athletes, so is every other person who drives. If the activity -- driving -- is an athletic endeavor, then by definition everyone who engages in it is an athlete.

And everyone who engages in basketball is an athlete, but really we don't mean casual driving or pick up baskets, we are talking real athletes. Professional types.

[Deathproof]

While I agree with you, keep in mind that people call NASCAR drivers athletes these days (they're not).
If dudes driving in circles are "athletes", when the car is doing all the work, then I can see calling a racehorse an athlete. At least the horse is providing the physical effort.

It's actually harder than you think. I won't go so far as to try and claim they are olympians or anything, but it is quite the wear on the upper body and it's a helluva endurance test. So when I think athlete, it's like the low end. Higher than bowling and even baseball, lower than basketball

If driving is a sport, and drivers are athletes, everybody on the road is an athlete. I'm gonna drive to Portillo's for lunch. To I get a Pepsi endorsement?

That's like saying everyone that plays basketball on a court is in the NBA. It is a whole other level of driving. We think we can drive well, but just like any other professional sports, we aren't as great as we think.

No, that's nothing like saying that. I never said everyone who drives is in NASCAR. I said if NASCAR drivers are athletes, so is every other person who drives. If the activity -- driving -- is an athletic endeavor, then by definition everyone who engages in it is an athlete.

And everyone who engages in basketball is an athlete, but really we don't mean casual driving or pick up baskets, we are talking real athletes. Professional types.

Okay, but being professional at something that isn't athletic in the first place doesn't make one an athlete. I will point out again that the car is doing the work.

[necronomous]

It's actually harder than you think. I won't go so far as to try and claim they are olympians or anything, but it is quite the wear on the upper body and it's a helluva endurance test. So when I think athlete, it's like the low end. Higher than bowling and even baseball, lower than basketball

If driving is a sport, and drivers are athletes, everybody on the road is an athlete. I'm gonna drive to Portillo's for lunch. To I get a Pepsi endorsement?

That's like saying everyone that plays basketball on a court is in the NBA. It is a whole other level of driving. We think we can drive well, but just like any other professional sports, we aren't as great as we think.

No, that's nothing like saying that. I never said everyone who drives is in NASCAR. I said if NASCAR drivers are athletes, so is every other person who drives. If the activity -- driving -- is an athletic endeavor, then by definition everyone who engages in it is an athlete.

And everyone who engages in basketball is an athlete, but really we don't mean casual driving or pick up baskets, we are talking real athletes. Professional types.

Okay, but being professional at something that isn't athletic in the first place doesn't make one an athlete. I will point out again that the car is doing the work.

And I will again point out that though not Olympic worthy it does require a good amount of upper body strength and stamina. I would put them above bowling, but less than basketball

[Deathproof]

If driving is a sport, and drivers are athletes, everybody on the road is an athlete. I'm gonna drive to Portillo's for lunch. To I get a Pepsi endorsement?

That's like saying everyone that plays basketball on a court is in the NBA. It is a whole other level of driving. We think we can drive well, but just like any other professional sports, we aren't as great as we think.

No, that's nothing like saying that. I never said everyone who drives is in NASCAR. I said if NASCAR drivers are athletes, so is every other person who drives. If the activity -- driving -- is an athletic endeavor, then by definition everyone who engages in it is an athlete.

And everyone who engages in basketball is an athlete, but really we don't mean casual driving or pick up baskets, we are talking real athletes. Professional types.

Okay, but being professional at something that isn't athletic in the first place doesn't make one an athlete. I will point out again that the car is doing the work.

And I will again point out that though not Olympic worthy it does require a good amount of upper body strength and stamina. I would put them above bowling, but less than basketball

I put them below golfers. Shoveling snow requires upper body strength and stamina too, but that doesn't make it a sport.

[necronomous]

That's like saying everyone that plays basketball on a court is in the NBA. It is a whole other level of driving. We think we can drive well, but just like any other professional sports, we aren't as great as we think.

No, that's nothing like saying that. I never said everyone who drives is in NASCAR. I said if NASCAR drivers are athletes, so is every other person who drives. If the activity -- driving -- is an athletic endeavor, then by definition everyone who engages in it is an athlete.

And everyone who engages in basketball is an athlete, but really we don't mean casual driving or pick up baskets, we are talking real athletes. Professional types.

Okay, but being professional at something that isn't athletic in the first place doesn't make one an athlete. I will point out again that the car is doing the work.

And I will again point out that though not Olympic worthy it does require a good amount of upper body strength and stamina. I would put them above bowling, but less than basketball

I put them below golfers. Shoveling snow requires upper body strength and stamina too, but that doesn't make it a sport.

Ok

[Blast]

Curling is not a sport. Thought I'd slide this in here.

[megman]

Curling is not a sport. Thought I'd slide this in here.

Hurling on the other hand....

[beagleboy]

Oh and quit jerking off to my picture, you little pinko bastard.

Saving a man's picture and reposting it on the internet pretty obvious flirting methods. It shows he likes you.

It's when he takes it to photoshop and takes the time to really work with the photo that it shows he's been jerking to it.

[Animal]

Shoveling snow requires upper body strength and stamina too, but that doesn't make it a sport.

it would absolutely make it a sport if it was put into a format that we could bet on it and be entertained watching who was the best at it.

[Charliesheen]

It's actually harder than you think. I won't go so far as to try and claim they are olympians or anything, but it is quite the wear on the upper body and it's a helluva endurance test. So when I think athlete, it's like the low end. Higher than bowling and even baseball, lower than basketball

If driving is a sport, and drivers are athletes, everybody on the road is an athlete. I'm gonna drive to Portillo's for lunch. To I get a Pepsi endorsement?

Will the temperature be over 100 degrees in your car? Will you lose 6-10 pounds of water weight? Will you be reaching speeds of 180 mph and sustaining that speed for hours? Your comparison sucks.

I have won exactly as many NASCAR races as Danica Patrick has.

And you used twice as many tampons

Not a lot of tampon users in that gif.

[FreakShowFanatic]

And for those of you that want to claim she's a man or a monkey, she's proven you wrong by having a baby with a white guy.

The absolute greatest...

[FreakShowFanatic]

And for those of you that want to claim she's a man or a monkey, she's proven you wrong by having a baby with a white guy.

The absolute greatest...

Roger Federer is the greatest to ever play that silly game.

It's a tough call, you might be right. But tennis is far from a silly game. It takes stamina, speed, the ultimate hand/eye coordination, intelligence (strategy), patience, perseverance... just to mention a few things about that ultimate sport.

I was awesome at being a running back and defensive end in football & even ran a 4.5 forty. I still couldn't play tennis at the level I wanted to be. That is one tough mutha fuckin' sport Bro, trust me. I doubt you would be very good at it.

[necronomous]

And for those of you that want to claim she's a man or a monkey, she's proven you wrong by having a baby with a white guy.

The absolute greatest...

Roger Federer is the greatest to ever play that silly game.

Pete Sampras

[Stapes]

I don't know if its the drugs or the training but these CrossFit chicks are in damn good shape.

[WestTexasCrude]

I don't know if its the drugs or the training but these CrossFit chicks are in damn good shape.

Yeah, those Abs aren't photo shopped or anything.

[Deathproof]

And for those of you that want to claim she's a man or a monkey, she's proven you wrong by having a baby with a white guy.

The absolute greatest...

"The absolute greatest?" Hardly. Prior to the 1998 Australian open, she and her sister claimed they could beat any male player. Wisely, they later qualified that statement, saying they could beat any male player "outside the top 200". Seems like if they're as good as they think they are, they wouldn't have had to qualify it to "outside the top 200", but I digress.
So, Karsten Braasch, a German tennis player who at the time was ranked 203rd in the world, accepted the challenge. Now, keep in mind that we're talking about a guy whose "training regime" was chain-smoking and guzzling lager.
So, come the day of the Australian open, they had the match. He spent the morning playing golf and drinking. And then he walked out on the court, and demolished that bitch, 6-1. Then her sister stepped in, after he had already played a "match", if such an easy victory could be called that, and beat her 6-2. It wasn't even competitive; afterward, he said he had played at 50% of his ability.
The sisters amended their ludicrous claim once again, saying they could beat any male player "outside of the top 350". Karsten Braasch, upon hearing about that, said "Maybe outside the top 600. Maybe."