Jokes for Disco

[Bluespruce1964]

I saw a elderly woman in Walmart crying

She told me she had lost all her money for groceries.

I felt bad for her so I gave her $40 from the $200 I found laying in the parking lot.

[Bluespruce1964]

A farm boy who had just finished his schooling on the farm, was sent by his Ma and Pa to the big city to go to college. The first thing the boy does when he gets to town, is go to find a whorehouse. He goes inside to talk to the madam about getting a girl.

She leads him upstairs, opens the door to a room and tells him to sit and wait for the girl to arrive. After several minutes of anxious waiting, a young, blonde prostitute comes in. The boy is beside himself, and he leaps up from the bed, grabs the television, and throws it out the window.

The girl thinks this is odd behavior, but she shrugs it off, and begins to undress. As she strips, the farmboy runs over, grabs the night stand and throws it out the window.

Again the girl thinks this is odd, but being an experienced hooker, she figures it's a fetish and continues disrobing. The girl removes her panties, and with that, the farm boy grabs the entire bed and starts lugging it toward the window.

The girl, figuring this is one even she hasn't heard of, finally asks, "What the hell are you doing?" The farm boy replies, "Ah ain't never been with no woman before but, if it's anythin' like fuckin' sheep, we gonna need all the room we can git."

[disco.moon]

I saw a elderly woman in Walmart crying

She told me she had lost all her money for groceries.

I felt bad for her so I gave her $40 from the $200 I found laying in the parking lot.

[Bluespruce1964]

When Bill and Hillary Clinton got married, Bill informed Hillary that he had a shoebox under the bed, and she was never to open it under any circumstances. Hillary agreed and promised to never open the box.

Hillary respected his wish as the years went by and kept her promise. But after several years of marriage, Hillary's curiosity got the best of her. She opened the box and found several hundred dollars in cash, and a couple of empty beer cans.

She felt guilty, and confessed to Bill that she had opened the shoebox, apologizing profusely. Bill said it was okay, but Hillary asked him, "what are the beer cans for?"

Bill replies "Hillary, every time I was unfaithful to you, I drank a beer and promised never to do it again." Hillary is taken aback, but not surprised. She thought well there was Monica, maybe one other woman, I guess that's not too bad. It's all good. He was the president and had some flings here and there.

She then asks Bill "what's all the cash for?" Bill says "well, every time the box got full, I took it to the recycling center for the deposit."

[Bluespruce1964]

A lady came to my door and asked for donations for the neighborhood association swimming pool.

I gave her a glass of water. I love supporting the community.

[Bluespruce1964]

I need to tell my girlfriend that she uses too much teeth when she goes down on me.


How do I soften the blow?

[Bluespruce1964]

Disco got a w tattooed on each butt cheek.



Now when she bends over - wow!

[Bluespruce1964]

[Bluespruce1964]

[Bluespruce1964]

[Biker]

[Ricrude]

Know why there is a wad of cotton in most medication bottles?

To remind black folk they were picking cotton before selling drugs....

[saltydog]

Happy Juneteenth!

[Bluespruce1964]

Disco said, “I’m backing the car in the garage. Would you let me know when I hit the wall?”

Me: Sure.

[BANG]

Me: it’s 4 35 pm.

[Bluespruce1964]

In my twenties, I lived in a houseboat and I started dating the girl next door.

Eventually….we drifted apart.

[Bluespruce1964]

My Chinese girlfriend never understands what I want when I say "69". It's getting really frustrating.

On the other hand, I do like beef with broccoli in sweet and sour sauce.

[Bluespruce1964]

How does the alchemist make disco happy?

Elixir!

[saltydog]

Donald Duck and Daisy Duck were spending the night together in a hotel room and Donald wanted to have sex with Daisy.

The first thing Daisy asked was, "Do you have a condom?"

Donald frowned and said, "No."

Daisy told Donald if he didn't get a condom, they couldn’t have sex.
"Maybe they sell them at the front desk," she suggested.

So Donald went down to the lobby and asked the hotel clerk if they had condoms.

"Yes, we do," the clerk said and pulled a box out from under the counter and gave it to Donald.

The clerk asked, "Would you like me to put them on your bill?"

"Thit No!" Donald quacked, "I'll thuffocate!"

[stonedmegman]

Donald Duck and Daisy Duck were spending the night together in a hotel room and Donald wanted to have sex with Daisy.

The first thing Daisy asked was, "Do you have a condom?"

Donald frowned and said, "No."

Daisy told Donald if he didn't get a condom, they couldn’t have sex.
"Maybe they sell them at the front desk," she suggested.

So Donald went down to the lobby and asked the hotel clerk if they had condoms.

"Yes, we do," the clerk said and pulled a box out from under the counter and gave it to Donald.

The clerk asked, "Would you like me to put them on your bill?"

"Thit No!" Donald quacked, "I'll thuffocate!"

What Donald didn't know was that Daisy was fucking Goofy.

[Bluespruce1964]

Disco surprised the mailman by coming to the door naked.

I don’t know what surprised him more, that she was naked, or that shew knew where he lived.

[Bluespruce1964]

How many tap dancers does it take to change a light bulb?





5-6-7-8

[saltydog]

I recently became the proud owner of a horse.

We call him Mayo.

Sometimes Mayo neighs.

[Animal]

How many tap dancers does it take to change a light bulb?





5-6-7-8

can you explain this one? Thanks.

[saltydog]

How many tap dancers does it take to change a light bulb?





5-6-7-8

can you explain this one? Thanks.

Well cultured human.

[stonedmegman]

FTR, whoever is deleting my posts in this thread can go fuck themselves.