UJRefugees.net

Antknot wrote: ↑Fri Aug 25, 2023 3:10 pm

Ricrude wrote: ↑Fri Aug 25, 2023 2:01 pm

Charliesheen wrote: ↑Fri Aug 25, 2023 6:43 am

Homebrew wrote: ↑Thu Aug 24, 2023 7:25 pm

Smacked a whole roll with a hammer once. Ear rang for the balance of the day.

A dollar got a lot of joy back then...

Remember the greeny stick on caps? I put one on the foot of a leg of a teachers chair, and when she pulled it out it went off and scared the hell out of her.

In about 6th grade or so some kids at my school started putting thumbtacks on people's chairs right as they were sitting down and Yow!. I only saw it happen once but everyone would always really pay attention as they sat down to make sure no one put a thumbtack on the seat.Then a teacher found out what was going on so we had an assembly about practical jokes and what not.So Mr Brown,he was pretty cool,pretty serious but he was pretty cool,he joked around from time to time.So he told his story about practical jokes. "In my school the kids were doing a so called joke,as a person would sit down another person would hold a pencil upright on their chair and then pull the pencil out of the way,just in the nick of time" (and he did air quotes) then he said "unfortunately for me they didn't pull the pencil out in time and it penetrated into my rectum" You could have heard a pin drop.He said "doctors told me about another half inch deeper and it would have punctured my spleen which could have caused death. Practical jokes should never cause anyone pain" Another time about then a girl in our class quit coming to school. Her name was sue Love (no relation to courtney love of Hole and Jake Tumler and the hardhats!) one day people were talking about it and another kid said "I heard she got pregnant so she's quitting school" So I said "she's not pregnant,she hasn't even reached puberty yet" Mr Brown happened to be standing there and he said "actually,the fact of whether or not she is pregnant has nothing to do with if she's reached puberty yet". So then I felt kind of stupid. Sue never did come back to school. She was pretty not hot though,so it didn't bother me any.

jsdspif wrote: ↑Tue Aug 29, 2023 6:44 am

Antknot wrote: ↑Fri Aug 25, 2023 3:10 pm

Ricrude wrote: ↑Fri Aug 25, 2023 2:01 pm

Charliesheen wrote: ↑Fri Aug 25, 2023 6:43 am

Homebrew wrote: ↑Thu Aug 24, 2023 7:25 pm

Smacked a whole roll with a hammer once. Ear rang for the balance of the day.

A dollar got a lot of joy back then...

Remember the greeny stick on caps? I put one on the foot of a leg of a teachers chair, and when she pulled it out it went off and scared the hell out of her.

In about 6th grade or so some kids at my school started putting thumbtacks on people's chairs right as they were sitting down and Yow!. I only saw it happen once but everyone would always really pay attention as they sat down to make sure no one put a thumbtack on the seat.Then a teacher found out what was going on so we had an assembly about practical jokes and what not.So Mr Brown,he was pretty cool,pretty serious but he was pretty cool,he joked around from time to time.So he told his story about practical jokes. "In my school the kids were doing a so called joke,as a person would sit down another person would hold a pencil upright on their chair and then pull the pencil out of the way,just in the nick of time" (and he did air quotes) then he said "unfortunately for me they didn't pull the pencil out in time and it penetrated into my rectum" You could have heard a pin drop.He said "doctors told me about another half inch deeper and it would have punctured my spleen which could have caused death. Practical jokes should never cause anyone pain" Another time about then a girl in our class quit coming to school. Her name was sue Love (no relation to courtney love of Hole and Jake Tumler and the hardhats!) one day people were talking about it and another kid said "I heard she got pregnant so she's quitting school" So I said "she's not pregnant,she hasn't even reached puberty yet" Mr Brown happened to be standing there and he said "actually,the fact of whether or not she is pregnant has nothing to do with if she's reached puberty yet". So then I felt kind of stupid. Sue never did come back to school. She was pretty not hot though,so it didn't bother me any.

Re-read after I posted and it took me a minute to figure it out. Like old Burns at work would say "You joker!"

stonedmegman wrote: ↑Tue Aug 29, 2023 4:45 pm

Shes a keeper.

Homebrew wrote: ↑Fri Aug 25, 2023 7:25 pm

stonedmegman wrote: ↑Tue Aug 29, 2023 4:45 pm

Old Pete from work...first guy my dad hired,back around 1967, and up until my dad's death he would say "I wish I had 5 more guys like Pete". Great worker,knew what he was doing,always a good mood,endless hours of enjoyment,and he scratched my balls one time. It felt like he may have had previous experience at that (scratching someone else's balls,not his own,all guys have that experience). So he came to work one day and gathered all the guys around.Really milked his story...He had a rock in his hand,and he went on and on "I can't believe I just found this in my driveway,blah,blah,blah" what is it ? "you don't know? It's a sex stone,I thought everyone knew what a sex stone is" we were all "I've never heard of that what is it?' And old Pete with a straight face "It's a fucking rock!"
And,one for the road... Pete and I were in the "grinding room" surface grinders,not people having sex. All of a sudden "Pete come up here,I need to talk to you" Boss Bob was calling him.A minute or so later "Pete" that continued for about 10 minutes. I finally said "Pete don't you here "the sak" calling you?" "Oh,he just wants to chew the fat and I'm trying to get this wrapped up" Then Bob walked in the room "Pete,you need to come up to the office,haven't you heard me" "No ,oh I've had my mind on wrapping this up,I didn't even hear you". We loved giving old Bob a hard time like that.

catch us up on the story of ol' Pete scratching your balls.

I had a thing when I was 16 or so,I used to just say "you can scratch my balls for me" I don't even remember when I would say it. I think it was when someone would be a wise ass and say something like "Oh,would you want me to do this or that for you,too?" and I would say "No,but you can scratch my balls for me" so one day i just said it to Pete and he said "c'mon guys hold on to him and I'm going to scratch his balls" so,a couple guys sort of picked me up and pushed me up against the wall and then Pete just stuck his hand in my pants and scratched my balls. At the time I didn't think it was funny but all the guys standing around about had heart attacks laughing. Bob would often tell me back then that I would be helping Pete,because besides machining he did other tasks,one I remember that is somewhat related to this place was he and I replaced the wax ring on the toilet. My job was to be his helper,so Bob went and told Pete,Jbirds' going to help you today Pete,and Pete said "Aint funny McGee" another time when Bob got pissed at me for something he was complaining how useless I was "that kids just good for nothing" Old Pete came to my defense,kind of. "Bob now you know that isn't true,we all know he's good for a laugh" "He does the work of 3 men" "oh,you're full of shit" "It's true Larry Moe and Curly" He also would tell me from time to time "It must be you never met Will Rogers" I still haven't figured that out and it was about 45 years ago. This was around the time Bob would say "How Long is a Chinaman" and it took one of the members here to solve that one,it wasn't a question,it was a comment. So much useful knowledge is gained from this board!. Pete was a good guy,fireman,cop,moldmaker and his special gift a magician. He went to old folks homes and did magic shows,just volunteer stuff,but knowing Pete,it wouldn't surprise me if he didn't end up getting some pussy while he was there. 2 of his favorite sayings actually 3 were "everyone you pass up is one you go to the grave without" "no such thing as bad pussy,just some is better than others" and the "just ask 10 girls if they want to fuck,you'll probably get slapped 9 times but that 10th one will probably be the charm".

Will Rogers famously said "I never met a man I didn't like".

Like Ben at work used to say "I see said the blindman!"When I was little Pete wanted to take me into the bathroom at work to show me some special tricks. One time at work Panty boy was talking to me and Big Tom and he said they were having some sort of family get together. He said his little nephew was going to be there and that the kid always went everywhere with his mr. microphone,so he could do his radio broadcasts. So panty boy said he was going to go to the "front room" with the nephew when he did his radio broadcast and he was going to show the kid how to do tricks with puppy peter (that's what panty boy would call his dick alot) then panty boy left the room.Tom and I looked at each other and Tom said "did he say what I thought he just said?" "yes he did" kind of had to be there. Panty boy would say (in cold weather) "it's so cold puppy doesn't even want to come out of his turtleneck sweater" and he'd speak of playing "speedboat" as he and his brother would urinate at the same time. So I ran into Tom the other day and he had said he ran into another co-worker. He said "the guy said jbird was pretty weird,but I truly believe pantyboy had serious,serious mental issues" For only have around 6 employees at a time,over the course of say 35 years,there has been a pretty strange group of people that came thru our doors.Now,in closing,from time to time I'd say to my dad "isn't it funny how you're so serious and I'm such a goofball?" and he'd say "it's not funny at all boy,there is a serious,serious problem!" Another time my dad kept telling the drunk "new guy" "I want washers and lockwashers on those bolts when you put that back together." He told him that about 10 times a day for 2 or 3 weeks. It was just a little filler job when the guy didn't have anything to do. So one morning I got to work and the guy had re-assembled the project and I looked and no lockwashers.He put washers but not lockwashers. My dad was about due to get there,so my smartass went around gathering the guys,"watch what happens when my dad gets here". So,dad shows up,sees the completed project "oh boy,that looks great " and he walked away. A couple guys were "what were we supposed to be seeing?" I was "wait for it,wait for it" all of a sudden my dad gets a thought "I just wonder?" went back and checked,no lockwashers BOOM! shit hit the fan. My dad went on and on about how the guy forgot the lockwashers and I said "he just got confused is all,could happen to anyone,he just forgot" "confused hell! I think he smoked too much pot and completely fried his brain!" then he went storming off. Tom looked at me and said "boy if that's what he thinks about him I wonder what he says about you?" and I said "you know,I was thinking that same thing" Always a good time at that place.

Animal wrote: ↑Tue Aug 29, 2023 11:31 pm Will Rogers famously said "I never met a man I didn't like".

i actually knew that one.The how long is a chinaman,someone on here explained that to me a few years ago,so it only took me about 30 years or so to figure it out.Bob and panty boy really enjoyed saying that to me.Extremely low level of entertainment for them,but they sure did get a kick out of it. Panty boy more than likely set fire to our shop truck,but please don't quote me on that,I'm only going by the policeman's opinion.

2. Final Answer