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An Irish man went to confession in St. Patrick’s Catholic Church. ‘Father’, he confessed, ‘it has been one month since my last confession. I had sex with Fanny Green twice last month.’ The priest told the sinner, ‘You are forgiven. Go out and say three Hail Mary’s.’

Soon thereafter, another Irish man entered the confessional. ‘Father, it has been two months since my last confession. I’ve had sex with Fanny Green twice a week for the past two months.’ This time, the priest questioned, ‘Who is this Fanny Green?’ ‘A new woman in the neighborhood,’ the sinner replied. ‘Very well,’ sighed the priest. Go and say ten Hail Mary’s.;

At mass the next morning, as the priest prepared to deliver the sermon, a tall, voluptuous, drop-dead gorgeous redheaded woman entered the sanctuary. The eyes of every man in the church fell upon her as she slowly sashayed up the aisle and sat down right in front of the priest. Her dress was green and very short, and she wore matching, shiny emerald-green shoes. The priest and the altar boy gasped as the woman in the green dress and matching green shoes sat with her legs spread slightly apart, but just enough to realize she wasn’t wearing any underwear.

The priest turned to the altar boy and whispered, ‘Is that Fanny Green?’ The bug-eyed altar boy couldn’t believe his ears but managed to calmly reply, ‘No Father, I think it’s just a reflection from her shoes’

Two bored casino dealers are waiting at the craps table. A very attractive blonde woman from South Alabama arrives and bets $20,000 on a single roll of dice. She says, "I hope you don’t mind, but I feel much luckier when I play topless."

With that, she strips to the waist, rolls the dice, and yells, "Come on, Southern girl needs new clothes!" As the dice bounce and come to a stop, she jumps up and down and squeals, "Yes! Yes! I won! I won!" She hugs each of the dealers, picks up her winnings, and her clothes, and quickly departs.

The dealers stare at each other dumbfounded. Finally, one of them asks, "What did she roll?" The other answers, "I don’t know, I thought you were watching."

Bluespruce1964 wrote: ↑Thu Mar 17, 2022 12:29 am Two bored casino dealers are waiting at the craps table. A very attractive blonde woman from South Alabama arrives and bets $20,000 on a single roll of dice. She says, "I hope you don’t mind, but I feel much luckier when I play topless."

With that, she strips to the waist, rolls the dice, and yells, "Come on, Southern girl needs new clothes!" As the dice bounce and come to a stop, she jumps up and down and squeals, "Yes! Yes! I won! I won!" She hugs each of the dealers, picks up her winnings, and her clothes, and quickly departs.

The dealers stare at each other dumbfounded. Finally, one of them asks, "What did she roll?" The other answers, "I don’t know, I thought you were watching."

visual aid

Biker wrote: ↑Thu Mar 17, 2022 3:29 pm

I can hear the gas engine running in my head

CentralTexasCrude wrote: ↑Thu Mar 17, 2022 11:39 pm

Biker wrote: ↑Thu Mar 17, 2022 3:29 pm

I can hear the gas engine running in my head

My guess is he keeps this little generator in his trunk. And why not? If you are running out of battery power, this is what the tow truck will do. And a lot of electricity coming from charging stations or wherever are using fossil fuels to be produced.
I get the irony. Pretty sure he is driving the Tesla to show off rather than being a tree hugger.

Evil.Fkn.Mean,Nasty wrote: ↑Fri Mar 18, 2022 12:22 am

CentralTexasCrude wrote: ↑Thu Mar 17, 2022 11:39 pm

Biker wrote: ↑Thu Mar 17, 2022 3:29 pm

I can hear the gas engine running in my head

My guess is he keeps this little generator in his trunk. And why not? If you are running out of battery power, this is what the tow truck will do. And a lot of electricity coming from charging stations or wherever are using fossil fuels to be produced.
I get the irony. Pretty sure he is driving the Tesla to show off rather than being a tree hugger.

You have to admit, the wife/ gf on the left does not look impressed.

CentralTexasCrude wrote: ↑Fri Mar 18, 2022 12:36 am

Evil.Fkn.Mean,Nasty wrote: ↑Fri Mar 18, 2022 12:22 am

CentralTexasCrude wrote: ↑Thu Mar 17, 2022 11:39 pm

Biker wrote: ↑Thu Mar 17, 2022 3:29 pm

I can hear the gas engine running in my head

My guess is he keeps this little generator in his trunk. And why not? If you are running out of battery power, this is what the tow truck will do. And a lot of electricity coming from charging stations or wherever are using fossil fuels to be produced.
I get the irony. Pretty sure he is driving the Tesla to show off rather than being a tree hugger.

You have to admit, the wife/ gf on the left does not look impressed.

You can see her face?

i think the wife drives the beater that the preppy husband doesn't mind toting a generator in. she's also probably the one that knows how to start it.

Reservoir Dog wrote: ↑Fri Mar 18, 2022 12:37 am

CentralTexasCrude wrote: ↑Fri Mar 18, 2022 12:36 am

Evil.Fkn.Mean,Nasty wrote: ↑Fri Mar 18, 2022 12:22 am

CentralTexasCrude wrote: ↑Thu Mar 17, 2022 11:39 pm

Biker wrote: ↑Thu Mar 17, 2022 3:29 pm

I can hear the gas engine running in my head

My guess is he keeps this little generator in his trunk. And why not? If you are running out of battery power, this is what the tow truck will do. And a lot of electricity coming from charging stations or wherever are using fossil fuels to be produced.
I get the irony. Pretty sure he is driving the Tesla to show off rather than being a tree hugger.

You have to admit, the wife/ gf on the left does not look impressed.

You can see her face?

He's psycho, I mean psychic.

Reservoir Dog wrote: ↑Fri Mar 18, 2022 12:37 am

CentralTexasCrude wrote: ↑Fri Mar 18, 2022 12:36 am

Evil.Fkn.Mean,Nasty wrote: ↑Fri Mar 18, 2022 12:22 am

CentralTexasCrude wrote: ↑Thu Mar 17, 2022 11:39 pm

Biker wrote: ↑Thu Mar 17, 2022 3:29 pm

I can hear the gas engine running in my head

My guess is he keeps this little generator in his trunk. And why not? If you are running out of battery power, this is what the tow truck will do. And a lot of electricity coming from charging stations or wherever are using fossil fuels to be produced.
I get the irony. Pretty sure he is driving the Tesla to show off rather than being a tree hugger.

You have to admit, the wife/ gf on the left does not look impressed.

You can see her face?

Check the body language arms behind the back

CentralTexasCrude wrote: ↑Fri Mar 18, 2022 12:57 am

Reservoir Dog wrote: ↑Fri Mar 18, 2022 12:37 am

CentralTexasCrude wrote: ↑Fri Mar 18, 2022 12:36 am

Evil.Fkn.Mean,Nasty wrote: ↑Fri Mar 18, 2022 12:22 am

CentralTexasCrude wrote: ↑Thu Mar 17, 2022 11:39 pm

Biker wrote: ↑Thu Mar 17, 2022 3:29 pm

I can hear the gas engine running in my head

My guess is he keeps this little generator in his trunk. And why not? If you are running out of battery power, this is what the tow truck will do. And a lot of electricity coming from charging stations or wherever are using fossil fuels to be produced.
I get the irony. Pretty sure he is driving the Tesla to show off rather than being a tree hugger.

You have to admit, the wife/ gf on the left does not look impressed.

You can see her face?

Check the body language arms behind the back

Bluespruce1964 wrote: ↑Wed Mar 09, 2022 3:52 pm

Reservoir Dog wrote: ↑Fri Mar 18, 2022 1:17 am

CentralTexasCrude wrote: ↑Fri Mar 18, 2022 12:57 am

Reservoir Dog wrote: ↑Fri Mar 18, 2022 12:37 am

CentralTexasCrude wrote: ↑Fri Mar 18, 2022 12:36 am

Evil.Fkn.Mean,Nasty wrote: ↑Fri Mar 18, 2022 12:22 am

CentralTexasCrude wrote: ↑Thu Mar 17, 2022 11:39 pm
I can hear the gas engine running in my head

My guess is he keeps this little generator in his trunk. And why not? If you are running out of battery power, this is what the tow truck will do. And a lot of electricity coming from charging stations or wherever are using fossil fuels to be produced.
I get the irony. Pretty sure he is driving the Tesla to show off rather than being a tree hugger.

You have to admit, the wife/ gf on the left does not look impressed.

You can see her face?

Check the body language arms behind the back

For some damn reason I picture your better half in that pose watching you trying to split a log into 4 equal pieces.

CentralTexasCrude wrote: ↑Fri Mar 18, 2022 1:57 am

Reservoir Dog wrote: ↑Fri Mar 18, 2022 1:17 am

CentralTexasCrude wrote: ↑Fri Mar 18, 2022 12:57 am

Reservoir Dog wrote: ↑Fri Mar 18, 2022 12:37 am

CentralTexasCrude wrote: ↑Fri Mar 18, 2022 12:36 am

Evil.Fkn.Mean,Nasty wrote: ↑Fri Mar 18, 2022 12:22 am

My guess is he keeps this little generator in his trunk. And why not? If you are running out of battery power, this is what the tow truck will do. And a lot of electricity coming from charging stations or wherever are using fossil fuels to be produced.
I get the irony. Pretty sure he is driving the Tesla to show off rather than being a tree hugger.

You have to admit, the wife/ gf on the left does not look impressed.

You can see her face?

Check the body language arms behind the back

For some damn reason I picture your better half in that pose watching you trying to split a log into 4 equal pieces.

I have a log splitter.

Reservoir Dog wrote: ↑Fri Mar 18, 2022 2:01 am

CentralTexasCrude wrote: ↑Fri Mar 18, 2022 1:57 am

Reservoir Dog wrote: ↑Fri Mar 18, 2022 1:17 am

CentralTexasCrude wrote: ↑Fri Mar 18, 2022 12:57 am

Reservoir Dog wrote: ↑Fri Mar 18, 2022 12:37 am

CentralTexasCrude wrote: ↑Fri Mar 18, 2022 12:36 am
You have to admit, the wife/ gf on the left does not look impressed.

You can see her face?

Check the body language arms behind the back

For some damn reason I picture your better half in that pose watching you trying to split a log into 4 equal pieces.

I have a log splitter.

Damn you Canadians with your fancy tools. Then I can't speculate on your wife's body language.