UJRefugees.net

This may sound like a meaningless platitude.
Eventually you will start to feel better not normal but a new normal.

Are you burying him in Iraan? If so, you can visit him whenever you like and talk to him.
My Dad died 24 years ago and I still visit his grave regularly and talk to him. I must look like an idiot doing it, but it makes me feel better.

Reservoir Dog wrote: ↑Sun Mar 22, 2020 8:45 pm Are you burying him in Iraan? If so, you can visit him whenever you like and talk to him.
My Dad died 24 years ago and I still visit his grave regularly and talk to him. I must look like an idiot doing it, but it makes me feel better.

well, you look like an idiot doing a lot of things, so why should that be any different?

We buried my dad in 88, I haven't been to the grave site since then because that's not where he's at.

My sincere condolences to you and yours Laddie. I lost my Dad last November at 94yrs but the last 12-18 months were very difficult with chest infections and UTIs (due to catheter) etc. Having your Dad go quickly may not seem like a blessing right now but a part of me wishes my Dad hadn’t held on through his last year.
My thoughts and prayers to you and the family.

Antknot wrote: ↑Sun Mar 22, 2020 8:37 pm This may sound like a meaningless platitude.
Eventually you will start to feel better not normal but a new normal.

Yeah, I know. I'm not naive. With his age, you knew it would happen eventually. You just always figured it would be something with an end approaching soon. Not waving at you fixing to take off and dead essentially 24 hours later. My Dad and his brother (my uncle) both saw their wives go through years of decline and I was pretty surprised at their level of grief. Almost like they hadn't prepared themselves for it. I could never understand that. Anyway, thanks for your thoughts Antknot.

Reservoir Dog wrote: ↑Sun Mar 22, 2020 8:45 pm Are you burying him in Iraan? If so, you can visit him whenever you like and talk to him.
My Dad died 24 years ago and I still visit his grave regularly and talk to him. I must look like an idiot doing it, but it makes me feel better.

Yeah, going to be buried beside his wife (Mom) who passed in 2009. Everybody's different. I go out occasionally to visit. My Dad (as far as I know) has never visited her grave since the funeral. Like PeteRoseHaircut says, everybody reacts differently.

Hyperv12 wrote: ↑Sun Mar 22, 2020 8:57 pm My sincere condolences to you and yours Laddie. I lost my Dad last November at 94yrs but the last 12-18 months were very difficult with chest infections and UTIs (due to catheter) etc. Having your Dad go quickly may not seem like a blessing right now but a part of me wishes my Dad hadn’t held on through his last year.
My thoughts and prayers to you and the family.

Thanks Hyper, Yeah, that obviously is a good point. He was still walking 5 miles a day last week. I just figured it would a slow slog downward until the end. I guess him going quickly is where I need to focus. It's just really bad timing with this virus. Everybody just waiting for the Major to shut the field down until it passes. Sitting at home is not good.

WestTexasCrude wrote: ↑Sun Mar 22, 2020 9:03 pm

Reservoir Dog wrote: ↑Sun Mar 22, 2020 8:45 pm Are you burying him in Iraan? If so, you can visit him whenever you like and talk to him.
My Dad died 24 years ago and I still visit his grave regularly and talk to him. I must look like an idiot doing it, but it makes me feel better.

Yeah, going to be buried beside his wife (Mom) who passed in 2009. Everybody's different. I go out occasionally to visit. My Dad (as far as I know) has never visited her grave since the funeral. Like PeteRoseHaircut says, everybody reacts differently.

This it's the exact reason for my February trips to the cabin. Dad had started out on a walk that morning with his dog and never made it home. I start the walk and from where he fell I take off on a different adventure, coming back to thew spot and finishing his normal morning walk route. I don't give a damn if people think it's nuts, it's time with Dad.

Flumper wrote: ↑Sun Mar 22, 2020 8:53 pm

Reservoir Dog wrote: ↑Sun Mar 22, 2020 8:45 pm Are you burying him in Iraan? If so, you can visit him whenever you like and talk to him.
My Dad died 24 years ago and I still visit his grave regularly and talk to him. I must look like an idiot doing it, but it makes me feel better.

well, you look like an idiot doing a lot of things, so why should that be any different?

Was that necessary?

WestTexasCrude wrote: ↑Sun Mar 22, 2020 9:16 pm

Flumper wrote: ↑Sun Mar 22, 2020 8:53 pm

Reservoir Dog wrote: ↑Sun Mar 22, 2020 8:45 pm Are you burying him in Iraan? If so, you can visit him whenever you like and talk to him.
My Dad died 24 years ago and I still visit his grave regularly and talk to him. I must look like an idiot doing it, but it makes me feel better.

well, you look like an idiot doing a lot of things, so why should that be any different?

Was that necessary?

Hey WTC, why don't you get your Dad cremated? It's a lot better for the environment.

How is your sister looking?

Blast wrote: ↑Sun Mar 22, 2020 9:16 pm

WestTexasCrude wrote: ↑Sun Mar 22, 2020 9:03 pm

Reservoir Dog wrote: ↑Sun Mar 22, 2020 8:45 pm Are you burying him in Iraan? If so, you can visit him whenever you like and talk to him.
My Dad died 24 years ago and I still visit his grave regularly and talk to him. I must look like an idiot doing it, but it makes me feel better.

Yeah, going to be buried beside his wife (Mom) who passed in 2009. Everybody's different. I go out occasionally to visit. My Dad (as far as I know) has never visited her grave since the funeral. Like PeteRoseHaircut says, everybody reacts differently.

This it's the exact reason for my February trips to the cabin. Dad had started out on a walk that morning with his dog and never made it home. I start the walk and from where he fell I take off on a different adventure, coming back to thew spot and finishing his normal morning walk route. I don't give a damn if people think it's nuts, it's time with Dad.

Thanks, Blast.

FreakShowFanatic wrote: ↑Sun Mar 22, 2020 9:21 pm

WestTexasCrude wrote: ↑Sun Mar 22, 2020 9:16 pm

Flumper wrote: ↑Sun Mar 22, 2020 8:53 pm

Reservoir Dog wrote: ↑Sun Mar 22, 2020 8:45 pm Are you burying him in Iraan? If so, you can visit him whenever you like and talk to him.
My Dad died 24 years ago and I still visit his grave regularly and talk to him. I must look like an idiot doing it, but it makes me feel better.

well, you look like an idiot doing a lot of things, so why should that be any different?

Was that necessary?

Hey WTC, why don't you get your Dad cremated? It's a lot better for the environment.

His choice. We were discussing casket prices that we were fixing to be shown. I had no interest and deferred to my Sister and Brother's judgment's and didn't go in there. What a waste. People have been buried in wood boxes for thousands of years, As far as I'm concerned, when I die, have a little ceremony on the banks of the Pecos and toss me in and let me float to the Gulf. My Mom was cremated. That was her wish. She was claustrophobic.

WestTexasCrude wrote: ↑Sun Mar 22, 2020 9:39 pm

FreakShowFanatic wrote: ↑Sun Mar 22, 2020 9:21 pm

WestTexasCrude wrote: ↑Sun Mar 22, 2020 9:16 pm

Flumper wrote: ↑Sun Mar 22, 2020 8:53 pm

Reservoir Dog wrote: ↑Sun Mar 22, 2020 8:45 pm Are you burying him in Iraan? If so, you can visit him whenever you like and talk to him.
My Dad died 24 years ago and I still visit his grave regularly and talk to him. I must look like an idiot doing it, but it makes me feel better.

well, you look like an idiot doing a lot of things, so why should that be any different?

Was that necessary?

Hey WTC, why don't you get your Dad cremated? It's a lot better for the environment.

His choice. We were discussing casket prices that we were fixing to be shown. I had no interest and deferred to my Sister and Brother's judgment's and didn't go in there. What a waste. People have been buried in wood boxes for thousands of years, As far as I'm concerned, when I die, have a little ceremony on the banks of the Pecos and toss me in and let me float to the Gulf. My Mom was cremated. That was her wish. She was claustrophobic.

True dat boss. I want to be cremated but when my dad died when he was only 74 my mom insisted that he be buried. I didn't argue or give her a hard time about it although I'm reasonably sure he couldn't have cared less if he was cremated.

WestTexasCrude wrote: ↑Sun Mar 22, 2020 9:14 pm

Hyperv12 wrote: ↑Sun Mar 22, 2020 8:57 pm My sincere condolences to you and yours Laddie. I lost my Dad last November at 94yrs but the last 12-18 months were very difficult with chest infections and UTIs (due to catheter) etc. Having your Dad go quickly may not seem like a blessing right now but a part of me wishes my Dad hadn’t held on through his last year.
My thoughts and prayers to you and the family.

Thanks Hyper, Yeah, that obviously is a good point. He was still walking 5 miles a day last week. I just figured it would a slow slog downward until the end. I guess him going quickly is where I need to focus. It's just really bad timing with this virus. Everybody just waiting for the Major to shut the field down until it passes. Sitting at home is not good.

Feeling helpless is never easy, with the current virus issue or otherwise. I hear you.

Anyway, enough with the gloom and doom. Let's shut this thread down. I'm just going through what every child or parent has experienced since humans walked out of Africa. I will survive like everybody else. Thanks for everybody's thoughts. This is just going to be rough.Back to the UJR fun. Anybody know where I can find that.

I just don't see the point anymore going forward. End of the line.

In seeing mixed messages here.

WestTexasCrude wrote: ↑Mon Mar 23, 2020 12:12 am I just don't see the point anymore going forward. End of the line.

Dude, don't forget that you have a lot of friends here on UJr. Don't forget about that. You're a major plus in this world & it would be a shame if anything happened to you. If I had to guess you're gonna meet a new SO in the very near future and she will be a lucky person to have met you.

Hang in there buddy. You'll be fine in due time.

Now is not a good time to lie to him

CaptQuint wrote: ↑Mon Mar 23, 2020 12:41 am Now is not a good time to lie to him

What am I lying about? Did you see in this thread all of the people, including you and EV, wishing him the best of luck?

I honestly believe he truly is a great guy and deserves to meet an awesome SO.

If anything, Now is a good time to tell him the truth.

WestTexasCrude wrote: ↑Sun Mar 22, 2020 9:52 pm Anyway, enough with the gloom and doom. Let's shut this thread down. I'm just going through what every child or parent has experienced since humans walked out of Africa. I will survive like everybody else. Thanks for everybody's thoughts. This is just going to be rough.Back to the UJR fun. Anybody know where I can find that.

Check the coals of your grill. Gotta look closely.

Evvanrenea wrote: ↑Mon Mar 23, 2020 6:07 am I’m really sorry WTC that really is awful especially not being able to grieve properly with everything that’s going on. Just don’t let it beat you up too badly.

Great advice.

I'd say watch your drinking as well. It would be easy to let it get out of hand at this time.