Sick jokes

[Whackov]

What did Cinderella do when she got to the ball? She gagged.

[Stapes]

what's the difference between a jew and santa?-
-santa comes down the chimney.

What's the difference between a Jew and pizza,?




Pizza doesn't scream when you put it in the oven.

YOU'VE GONE TOO FAR smart ass bitch!!!

[Reservoir Dog]

Pizza doesn't scream when you put it in the oven.

It does if you put a baby on it!

[Blast]

I've v heard they had a gas in the showers at Auschwitz.

[Blast]

What's black, white, and red and sounds around really fast? A nun in a blender.

[HighNDry]

Q: What has 18 balls and 3 pubic hairs?
A: Michael Jackson's slumber party.

[rule34]

This thread is telling.

[Blast]

This thread is telling.

That sometimes dark things can be funny?

Yeah, Look at Chris Rock and Richard Pryor.

[Reservoir Dog]

This thread is telling.

That sometimes dark things can be funny?

Yeah, Look at Chris Rock and Richard Pryor.

Richard Pryor on fire or Richard Pryor not on fire?

[Blast]

This thread is telling.

That sometimes dark things can be funny?

Yeah, Look at Chris Rock and Richard Pryor.

Richard Pryor on fire or Richard Pryor not on fire?

Charred Richard Pryor, his delivery was a bit more crisp

[Stapes]

This thread is telling.

That sometimes dark things can be funny?

Yeah, Look at Chris Rock and Richard Pryor.

Richard Pryor on fire or Richard Pryor not on fire?

Charred Richard Pryor, his delivery was a bit more crisp

Hah... Nice

[Hyperv12]

A recently married young lady goes to the doctor. "Doc I have nausia and a really uncomfortable bloated stomach".

"No probs" says the doc "I'll have the nurse take blood and urine samples and I'll see you next week for the results".

Next week comes around and our bride is back at the surgery.

"Well" says the Doctor, "I hope you're not adverse to changing nappies".

"Why" gushed the young lady excitedly "Am I pregnant"?




"No" says the doc "You have bowel cancer".

[Hyperv12]

Why did God create yeast infections?


So women would know what it's like to live with an irritating cunt once in a while too.

[Hyperv12]

A young boy runs into the kitchen where his mother is busy making dinner.

"Mommy Grandma is playing with her shrimp!"

So, curiosity gets the best of her and the mother goes into the living room with her son. Sure enough there's Grandma, playing with herself.
"Oh honey, that isn't a shrimp, that is called a clitoris."



"Oh." said the boy, "Well it sure tasted like shrimp!"

[Hyperv12]

What's the Michael Jackson got in common with caviar?

They both come on little white crackers.

[Burn1dwn]

After death, what is the only organ in the female body which remains warm? My penis.

[Hyperv12]

What's the Michael Jackson got in common with caviar?

They both come on little white crackers.

I have laughed so hard at your jokes lol. Freaking hilarious.

I remember jokes, it’s a curse.

[Hyperv12]

This guy goes into his local and orders a scotch. As he fires it down the landlord says 'You look a bit cheerful tonight, Fred.' Fred says 'Well last night I was walking the dog down by the railway and I came across this woman tied to the line.' The landlord raises his eyebrows. 'Go on', he says. 'Well,' Fred continues, 'I untied her and took her back home. And we got down to it. Man, it was amazing. We did it on the kitchen table. We shagged on the stairs, we shagged on the bed, in the bed, under the bed. We did it from behind in the shower. Had a bath. Did it again in front of the telly. Anyway this morning I took her back down to the railway and left her there. What a night.'

The Landlord pours him another drink. Fred downs it. 'So was she a good looking lass then,' asks the landlord. Fred looks up blankly. 'Dunno mate. I never found her head.'

[Hyperv12]

What’s the difference between a washing machine and a 15-year-old girl?

The washing machine won't follow you around for 2 weeks after you drop a load in it.

[Biker]

[Hyperv12]

I just got a PM from W/CTC fyi,

“I find all the jokes about Jews on here very unfunny. My grandad died in a concentration camp.

He fell off one of the gun towers.”

[Hyperv12]

Why do women find it so hard to pee in the morning?



Have you ever tried peeling apart a cheese toastie?

[Hyperv12]

Why do women find it so hard to pee in the morning?



Have you ever tried peeling apart a cheese toastie?

goddamn you lol

Ah sweetheart once you break the crust the rest is gravy!

[Hyperv12]

Paedophiles are fucking immature assholes!

[Hyperv12]

Amanda has had 5 kids during a healthy 20 year old marriage...
and after that many kids, her 'highway to happiness' is now hanging just a little low. Lets not split hairs about this, its a badly wrapped kebab, and resembles more than a little a ripped out fireplace in a stately home, so, with the blessing of her hubby, she goes to have a little plastic surgey down 'down below' to tighten and trim things up, as not only will it look better, but there won't be an echoing when she pees....

She wakes up from the surgey, and on gazing down the bed, noticed three red roses at the foot of the bed, each has a note attached to it, so gingerly, she reaches down to the first rose and reads the message...

Dear Mrs. Angelbuns, this is from your surgeon, Just wanted to congratulate you on what has been a most successful operation. In 15 years of doing this, I've never had a better patient, hope you enjoy your trimmed assets! Best wishes, your surgeon...

She then gets the second rose and message...

My Darling Amanda, this is from your ever loving husband. Can't wait to get you home again and try out the 'new equipment' be great to feel the sides again and act like teeneagers all over again. With love, your Hubby..

Then, inevitably, she gets to the third rose and message, wich simply reads...

From Eric, in the Burns Unit next door........ Thanks for the new Ears.