LOLZ (NSFW)
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- disco.moon
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Re: LOLZ (NSFW)
She "smeagals" the fuck outta there
- BigChiefin
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Re: LOLZ (NSFW)
It's a shame the word "nearly" is in the headline. At least its recorded so charges can be pressed.
- BigChiefin
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Re: LOLZ (NSFW)
Antknot wrote: ↑Wed Apr 27, 2022 12:29 pm A father walked by his six year old son’s bedroom and saw him kneeling by the side of the bed, praying. He heard, “God bless Mommy, God bless Daddy, and especially bless Uncle Pete.”
The father was perturbed. Pete, his brother, only visited once a year. Why was Pete in his son’s prayers?
The next day they had a call. Pete had died in a car accident that morning.
The father decided he’d better listen to his son’s prayers that night. That’s when he heard his son say: “God bless Mommy. God bless Daddy. And especially bless Aunt Sally.”
Whoa! Sally was his wife’s sister. She lived on the other side of the country and his son has only seen her once.
The next day they had a call. Sally had a massive heart attack and died that morning.
That night he listened at his son’s door again. This is what he heard. “God bless Mommy. And especially bless Daddy”
The father was very disturbed now. He broke out in a sweat. He couldn’t sleep all night. Speeding causes most car accidents, right? He drove to work so slowly he almost caused two collisions. His office was on the 10th floor. He took one look at the elevator and decided not to risk it so he walked up 10 flights. When he got to his office his heart was pounding. All day he had trouble focusing on his work. Getting home safely was a miracle. He kept dozing at the wheel. He walked into the house and saw his wife sitting at the kitchen table. Her eyes were red and it looked like she’d been crying for hours. She said, “What a day! The milkman comes to the door and drops dead!”
- Homebrew
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Re: LOLZ (NSFW)
What if it was one guy with six guns?
- Deathproof
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Re: LOLZ (NSFW)
I wouldn't be surprised, nor would I disapprove, when the boyfriend winds up beating the living shit out of that guy cosplaying as a girl.
"Poor kids are just as bright and just as talented as white kids. Wealthy kids, black kids, Asian kids... no I really mean it, but think how we think about it.” -- lifelong segregationist Joe Biden
- disco.moon
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Re: LOLZ (NSFW)
Omg I just died laughing. This dogs face tho.
- BigChiefin
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Re: LOLZ (NSFW)
Agreed. Justifiable homicide applies.Deathproof wrote: ↑Thu Apr 28, 2022 7:09 pmI wouldn't be surprised, nor would I disapprove, when the boyfriend winds up beating the living shit out of that guy cosplaying as a girl.
- CentralTexasCrude
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Re: LOLZ (NSFW)
Isn't that the look that everyone has when reading jbird's "stories"?
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Re: LOLZ (NSFW)
No. That's the look we all have reading one of your posts.CentralTexasCrude wrote: ↑Thu Apr 28, 2022 11:34 pmIsn't that the look that everyone has when reading jbird's "stories"?
- BigChiefin
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Re: LOLZ (NSFW)
That woman has done some things to that dog. Hilarious.
- CentralTexasCrude
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Re: LOLZ (NSFW)
Ooh, BurnReservoir Dog wrote: ↑Thu Apr 28, 2022 11:44 pmNo. That's the look we all have reading one of your posts.CentralTexasCrude wrote: ↑Thu Apr 28, 2022 11:34 pmIsn't that the look that everyone has when reading jbird's "stories"?
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Re: LOLZ (NSFW)
A little old lady with blue hair entered a sex shop and asked in a quivering voice, “Yy-youuuung man, dd-do y-you, sell-l d-didildoes h-hhhere?” The salesman, somewhat taken aback by the little old lady’s appearance in his shop answered, “Uh, yes ma’am, we do.” The little lady, holding her quivering hands about 10 inches apart asked, “Dddd-do y-you ha-ave any ab-bb-bout th-this lon-ong?” “Well... yes ma’am, a few of them are about that big.” “D-do aa-ny of them ha-ave a v-v-v-vibra-a-ator?” “Yes ma’am, one of them does.” “W-w-ell, h-how d-do yo-ou t-turn it off?”
- Geist
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Re: LOLZ (NSFW)
Dumb morals land you in dumb places. Fuck before marriageBigChiefin wrote: ↑Thu Apr 28, 2022 10:36 pmAgreed. Justifiable homicide applies.Deathproof wrote: ↑Thu Apr 28, 2022 7:09 pmI wouldn't be surprised, nor would I disapprove, when the boyfriend winds up beating the living shit out of that guy cosplaying as a girl.
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Re: LOLZ (NSFW)
.Geist wrote: ↑Fri Apr 29, 2022 2:17 pmDumb morals land you in dumb places. Fuck marriageBigChiefin wrote: ↑Thu Apr 28, 2022 10:36 pmAgreed. Justifiable homicide applies.Deathproof wrote: ↑Thu Apr 28, 2022 7:09 pmI wouldn't be surprised, nor would I disapprove, when the boyfriend winds up beating the living shit out of that guy cosplaying as a girl.
du.du.du.dude looks like a lady
- Evil.Fkn.Mean,Nasty
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Re: LOLZ (NSFW)
Is "trap" a typo or what its called when you fall for a trans and dont know it? Would be appropriate.rule34 wrote: ↑Fri Apr 29, 2022 2:23 pm.Geist wrote: ↑Fri Apr 29, 2022 2:17 pmDumb morals land you in dumb places. Fuck marriageBigChiefin wrote: ↑Thu Apr 28, 2022 10:36 pmAgreed. Justifiable homicide applies.Deathproof wrote: ↑Thu Apr 28, 2022 7:09 pmI wouldn't be surprised, nor would I disapprove, when the boyfriend winds up beating the living shit out of that guy cosplaying as a girl.
- BigChiefin
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Re: LOLZ (NSFW)
That's how I read it. I assume that is what the term means.Evil.Fkn.Mean,Nasty wrote: ↑Fri Apr 29, 2022 5:14 pmIs "trap" a typo or what its called when you fall for a trans and dont know it? Would be appropriate.rule34 wrote: ↑Fri Apr 29, 2022 2:23 pm.Geist wrote: ↑Fri Apr 29, 2022 2:17 pmDumb morals land you in dumb places. Fuck marriageBigChiefin wrote: ↑Thu Apr 28, 2022 10:36 pmAgreed. Justifiable homicide applies.Deathproof wrote: ↑Thu Apr 28, 2022 7:09 pmI wouldn't be surprised, nor would I disapprove, when the boyfriend winds up beating the living shit out of that guy cosplaying as a girl.
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Re: LOLZ (NSFW)
Does that include the guy in the van giving away free candy?
du.du.du.dude looks like a lady
- BigChiefin
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- Evil.Fkn.Mean,Nasty
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- Bluespruce1964
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Re: LOLZ (NSFW)
I'm up early.
- CHEEZY17
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Re: LOLZ (NSFW)
Maybe there's hope for you after all.Evil.Fkn.Mean,Nasty wrote: ↑Sat Apr 30, 2022 1:03 pmI'm as woke as the next liberal but holly fukk enough already.
If you dont have a mother or a father, then have that kid write to "The grown up that yells at me" or whatever.
We all knew kids in that situation. And no one judged them.
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Re: LOLZ (NSFW)
BingoBigChiefin wrote: ↑Fri Apr 29, 2022 10:53 pm
How about we go with three holidays.
- Mother's Day
- Father's Day
- One or Both of My Parents Are Mentally Ill Day
- Bluespruce1964
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Re: LOLZ (NSFW)
A truck loaded with thousands of copies of Roget's Thesaurus spilled its load leaving New York. Witnesses were stunned, startled, aghast, stupefied, shocked, rattled, dazed, bewildered, surprised, dumbfounded, flabbergasted, confounded, and astonished.
I'm up early.
- Bluespruce1964
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Re: LOLZ (NSFW)
I'm up early.