LOLZ (NSFW)

[stonedmegman]

[Biker]

[Animal]

she doesn't look like Owen's type.

I'm a Cohabitational Specialist

[Homebrew]

when he says "go down there" he's talking about eating pussy, right?

Sadly no....poop bed.

[Deathproof]

Why does this bitch look so irritated? If she doesn't like the terms, nobody's forcing her to take the place.

[disco.moon]

[disco.moon]

[Bluespruce1964]

Wordle 309 5/6

[Bluespruce1964]

Daily Quordle 90


quordle.com

[Bluespruce1964]

WordHurdle 191 5/6 #wordhurdle







Play now at https://www.wordhurdle.in, a https://solitaired.com site

[Bluespruce1964]

#Worldle #93 3/6 (100%)



https://worldle.teuteuf.fr

[Bluespruce1964]

oops!

[Bluespruce1964]

[Biker]

[Burn1dwn]

oops!

Irvine.. probably has lots of family there.

[CentralTexasCrude]

I don't think they understand the concept

[disco.moon]

RIGHT?! I knew you'd like that lol. He's a fucking banana.

[Antknot]

[Bluespruce1964]

An elderly woman walks into the clinic to see a Doctor

When she's taken back to a room a Doctor and his nurse walks in soon after. "Hello, madam. What brings you in today?" The old lady shuffles to a chair and says, "You have to help me, Doctor. Something very strange is going on!" The doctor begins writing in his chart. "I see. Can you try to describe it to me?"

"Well, I'm... passing air quite often, you see. Yet, it is always odorless and silent! In fact, I've released air in this very room several times while talking with you just now."

"I see," remarks the Doctor as he sent the nurse out of the room and jotted in his charts. "We will start here: Take the prescription I'm writing you for two weeks and come back for a follow-up."

Two weeks pass and the old lady is shuffling around the office as the Doctor walks in. "Hello, madam. Have you noticed any changes regarding your condition?" He asks. "Oh my Heavens, Doctor! What ever you wrote for me has had powerful results!" He is jotting his notes down as she tells him, "The air I release now has a powerful odor along with it!"

The Doctor still jotting, exclaims, "Well that's great news. We've seemed to have gotten your sinuses cleared up. Now, let's do something about that hearing!"

[Burn1dwn]

I have a friend like that.

[Antknot]

Wullie is browsing in a pet shop, and sees a parrot sitting on a little perch.

It doesn't have any feet or legs.

Wullie says aloud, 'Jeesh, I wonder what heppened tolill is parrot.?'

The parrot says, 'I was born this way.

I'm a defective parrot.'

'Holy crap,' Wullie replies.

'Ye actually understood and answered me. !'

'I got every word,' says the parrot.

'I happen to be a highly intelligent, and a thoroughly educated bird'

'Oh yeah?' Wullie asks.

'en answer is, how do ye hing onto yer perch, wehoot any feet.?'

'Well,' the parrot says, 'this is very embarrassing, but since you asked, I wrap my weenie around this wooden bar, like a little hook.

You can't see it, because of my feathers.'

'Wow,' says Wullie .

'Ye really can understand, an can speak English, can't ye.?'

'Actually, I speak both Spanish and English, and I can converse with reasonable competence on almost any topic, politics, religion, sports, physics, philosophy.

I'm especially good at ornithology.

You really ought to buy me, I'd be a great companion.'

Wullie looks at the £200 price tag.

'Sorry, but I chist can't afford at.'

'Pssssssst,' says the parrot, 'I'm defective, so the truth is, nobody wants me, cause I don't have any feet.

You can probably get me for £20, just make the guy an offer.!'

Wullie offers £20, and walks out with the parrot.

Weeks go by.

The parrot is sensational.

He has a great sense of humour, he's interesting, he's a great pal, he understands everything, he sympathizes, and he's insightful. Wullie is delighted.

One day Wullie comes home from work, and the parrot goes, 'Psssssssssssst,' and motions him over with one wing.

'I don't know if I should tell you this or not, but it's about your wife, and the post man.'

'What are ye talking aboot,?' asks Wullie

'When he delivered a package today, your wife greeted him at the door, in a sheer black nightie.'

'WHAT???' Wullie asks incredulously.

'EN what happened?'

'Well, he came into the house, and lifted up her nightie, and began petting her all over,' reported the parrot.

'NO!' Wullie exclaims, 'and she let him.?'

'Yes.

Then he continued taking off the nightie, got down on his knees, and began to kiss her all over.'

Then a frantic Wullie demands, 'EN WHAT HAPPENED.?'

DUNNO?!? I got an erection, and fell off my fucking perch!

[DiverTexas]

LMAO

[stonedmegman]

[Antknot]

[disco.moon]

when all else fails, blame your sign.