UJRefugees.net

she doesn't look like Owen's type.

I'm a Cohabitational Specialist

disco.moon wrote: ↑Thu Apr 21, 2022 11:05 pm

Animal wrote: ↑Thu Apr 21, 2022 10:43 pm when he says "go down there" he's talking about eating pussy, right?

Sadly no....poop bed.

Biker wrote: ↑Fri Apr 22, 2022 6:29 pm

Why does this bitch look so irritated? If she doesn't like the terms, nobody's forcing her to take the place.

Wordle 309 5/6

Daily Quordle 90


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WordHurdle 191 5/6 #wordhurdle







Play now at https://www.wordhurdle.in, a https://solitaired.com site

#Worldle #93 3/6 (100%)



https://worldle.teuteuf.fr

oops!

disco.moon wrote: ↑Sun Apr 24, 2022 12:55 pm

Bluespruce1964 wrote: ↑Sun Apr 24, 2022 1:41 pm oops!

Irvine.. probably has lots of family there.

I don't think they understand the concept

Biker wrote: ↑Sun Apr 24, 2022 3:06 pm

disco.moon wrote: ↑Sun Apr 24, 2022 12:55 pm

RIGHT?! I knew you'd like that lol. He's a fucking banana.

An elderly woman walks into the clinic to see a Doctor

When she's taken back to a room a Doctor and his nurse walks in soon after. "Hello, madam. What brings you in today?" The old lady shuffles to a chair and says, "You have to help me, Doctor. Something very strange is going on!" The doctor begins writing in his chart. "I see. Can you try to describe it to me?"

"Well, I'm... passing air quite often, you see. Yet, it is always odorless and silent! In fact, I've released air in this very room several times while talking with you just now."

"I see," remarks the Doctor as he sent the nurse out of the room and jotted in his charts. "We will start here: Take the prescription I'm writing you for two weeks and come back for a follow-up."

Two weeks pass and the old lady is shuffling around the office as the Doctor walks in. "Hello, madam. Have you noticed any changes regarding your condition?" He asks. "Oh my Heavens, Doctor! What ever you wrote for me has had powerful results!" He is jotting his notes down as she tells him, "The air I release now has a powerful odor along with it!"

The Doctor still jotting, exclaims, "Well that's great news. We've seemed to have gotten your sinuses cleared up. Now, let's do something about that hearing!"

disco.moon wrote: ↑Sun Apr 24, 2022 12:56 pm

I have a friend like that.

Wullie is browsing in a pet shop, and sees a parrot sitting on a little perch.

It doesn't have any feet or legs.

Wullie says aloud, 'Jeesh, I wonder what heppened tolill is parrot.?'

The parrot says, 'I was born this way.

I'm a defective parrot.'

'Holy crap,' Wullie replies.

'Ye actually understood and answered me. !'

'I got every word,' says the parrot.

'I happen to be a highly intelligent, and a thoroughly educated bird'

'Oh yeah?' Wullie asks.

'en answer is, how do ye hing onto yer perch, wehoot any feet.?'

'Well,' the parrot says, 'this is very embarrassing, but since you asked, I wrap my weenie around this wooden bar, like a little hook.

You can't see it, because of my feathers.'

'Wow,' says Wullie .

'Ye really can understand, an can speak English, can't ye.?'

'Actually, I speak both Spanish and English, and I can converse with reasonable competence on almost any topic, politics, religion, sports, physics, philosophy.

I'm especially good at ornithology.

You really ought to buy me, I'd be a great companion.'

Wullie looks at the £200 price tag.

'Sorry, but I chist can't afford at.'

'Pssssssst,' says the parrot, 'I'm defective, so the truth is, nobody wants me, cause I don't have any feet.

You can probably get me for £20, just make the guy an offer.!'

Wullie offers £20, and walks out with the parrot.

Weeks go by.

The parrot is sensational.

He has a great sense of humour, he's interesting, he's a great pal, he understands everything, he sympathizes, and he's insightful. Wullie is delighted.

One day Wullie comes home from work, and the parrot goes, 'Psssssssssssst,' and motions him over with one wing.

'I don't know if I should tell you this or not, but it's about your wife, and the post man.'

'What are ye talking aboot,?' asks Wullie

'When he delivered a package today, your wife greeted him at the door, in a sheer black nightie.'

'WHAT???' Wullie asks incredulously.

'EN what happened?'

'Well, he came into the house, and lifted up her nightie, and began petting her all over,' reported the parrot.

'NO!' Wullie exclaims, 'and she let him.?'

'Yes.

Then he continued taking off the nightie, got down on his knees, and began to kiss her all over.'

Then a frantic Wullie demands, 'EN WHAT HAPPENED.?'

DUNNO?!? I got an erection, and fell off my fucking perch!

LMAO

when all else fails, blame your sign.

A father walked by his six year old son’s bedroom and saw him kneeling by the side of the bed, praying. He heard, “God bless Mommy, God bless Daddy, and especially bless Uncle Pete.”

The father was perturbed. Pete, his brother, only visited once a year. Why was Pete in his son’s prayers?

The next day they had a call. Pete had died in a car accident that morning.

The father decided he’d better listen to his son’s prayers that night. That’s when he heard his son say: “God bless Mommy. God bless Daddy. And especially bless Aunt Sally.”

Whoa! Sally was his wife’s sister. She lived on the other side of the country and his son has only seen her once.

The next day they had a call. Sally had a massive heart attack and died that morning.

That night he listened at his son’s door again. This is what he heard. “God bless Mommy. And especially bless Daddy”

The father was very disturbed now. He broke out in a sweat. He couldn’t sleep all night. Speeding causes most car accidents, right? He drove to work so slowly he almost caused two collisions. His office was on the 10th floor. He took one look at the elevator and decided not to risk it so he walked up 10 flights. When he got to his office his heart was pounding. All day he had trouble focusing on his work. Getting home safely was a miracle. He kept dozing at the wheel. He walked into the house and saw his wife sitting at the kitchen table. Her eyes were red and it looked like she’d been crying for hours. She said, “What a day! The milkman comes to the door and drops dead!”