UJRefugees.net

Biker wrote: ↑Fri Jul 26, 2024 6:17 pm Dump him? What did he do?

Burn1dwn wrote: ↑Mon Jul 29, 2024 2:50 am

Animal wrote: ↑Mon Jul 29, 2024 1:21 pm

Burn1dwn wrote: ↑Mon Jul 29, 2024 2:50 am

do you think that maybe his point is that parents should be more like adults and attempt to change their behavior or get some help rather than just ditching the marriage and putting their kids through that?

Geist wrote: ↑Mon Jul 29, 2024 2:03 pm

Animal wrote: ↑Mon Jul 29, 2024 1:21 pm

Burn1dwn wrote: ↑Mon Jul 29, 2024 2:50 am

do you think that maybe his point is that parents should be more like adults and attempt to change their behavior or get some help rather than just ditching the marriage and putting their kids through that?

Do you think that in practice, people who tend to be violent toward their partners and children are receptive to that?

Animal wrote: ↑Mon Jul 29, 2024 2:18 pm

Geist wrote: ↑Mon Jul 29, 2024 2:03 pm

Animal wrote: ↑Mon Jul 29, 2024 1:21 pm

Burn1dwn wrote: ↑Mon Jul 29, 2024 2:50 am

do you think that maybe his point is that parents should be more like adults and attempt to change their behavior or get some help rather than just ditching the marriage and putting their kids through that?

Do you think that in practice, people who tend to be violent toward their partners and children are receptive to that?

there's no way I could know the answer to that. But what I do know is that if you give a person an easy solution they will take it most of the time. its the hard solutions that take a little work that people tend to avoid.

Geist wrote: ↑Mon Jul 29, 2024 4:04 pm

Animal wrote: ↑Mon Jul 29, 2024 2:18 pm

Geist wrote: ↑Mon Jul 29, 2024 2:03 pm

Animal wrote: ↑Mon Jul 29, 2024 1:21 pm

Burn1dwn wrote: ↑Mon Jul 29, 2024 2:50 am

do you think that maybe his point is that parents should be more like adults and attempt to change their behavior or get some help rather than just ditching the marriage and putting their kids through that?

Do you think that in practice, people who tend to be violent toward their partners and children are receptive to that?

there's no way I could know the answer to that. But what I do know is that if you give a person an easy solution they will take it most of the time. its the hard solutions that take a little work that people tend to avoid.

I'm not disagreeing with that. But that belief is divorced from reality. You can't tell me you don't know/knew someone who's abusive in their home life. We all have known them. That person is the limiting factor in the situation we're talking about - you can talk about the need for self-work all you like, but that type of person isn't likely to even view themselves as the problem, let alone entertain the idea of counseling.

Animal wrote: ↑Mon Jul 29, 2024 1:21 pm

Burn1dwn wrote: ↑Mon Jul 29, 2024 2:50 am

do you think that maybe his point is that parents should be more like adults and attempt to change their behavior or get some help rather than just ditching the marriage and putting their kids through that?

Animal wrote: ↑Mon Jul 29, 2024 4:09 pm

Geist wrote: ↑Mon Jul 29, 2024 4:04 pm

Animal wrote: ↑Mon Jul 29, 2024 2:18 pm

Geist wrote: ↑Mon Jul 29, 2024 2:03 pm

Animal wrote: ↑Mon Jul 29, 2024 1:21 pm

Burn1dwn wrote: ↑Mon Jul 29, 2024 2:50 am

do you think that maybe his point is that parents should be more like adults and attempt to change their behavior or get some help rather than just ditching the marriage and putting their kids through that?

Do you think that in practice, people who tend to be violent toward their partners and children are receptive to that?

there's no way I could know the answer to that. But what I do know is that if you give a person an easy solution they will take it most of the time. its the hard solutions that take a little work that people tend to avoid.

I'm not disagreeing with that. But that belief is divorced from reality. You can't tell me you don't know/knew someone who's abusive in their home life. We all have known them. That person is the limiting factor in the situation we're talking about - you can talk about the need for self-work all you like, but that type of person isn't likely to even view themselves as the problem, let alone entertain the idea of counseling.

so I assume you also agree that rehabilitating someone in a jail is a waste of time?

Burn1dwn wrote: ↑Mon Jul 29, 2024 4:19 pm

Animal wrote: ↑Mon Jul 29, 2024 1:21 pm

Burn1dwn wrote: ↑Mon Jul 29, 2024 2:50 am

do you think that maybe his point is that parents should be more like adults and attempt to change their behavior or get some help rather than just ditching the marriage and putting their kids through that?

You think it took the sexual revolution for people to realize they were unhappy with their marriage situation (especially abused spouses). You can at least acknowledge that it was a stupid thing to say, regardless of how you feel about divorces.

As a child of divorce, my life got exponentially better after my parents split. Listening to arguing and fighting everyday is no way for children to grow up healthy either. So sticking it out for kids is not the solution either.

CHEEZY17 wrote: ↑Mon Jul 29, 2024 8:08 pm I'd like to see the whole clip but I dont think he is advocating staying in violent marriages. My take from that is that he is advocating putting the hard work in to make the relationship work; not quitting on a whim. More along the lines of those folks that end committed relationships because it hit a rough patch. I get that may not always be a possibility as some relationships undeniably should be dissolved but I think his larger point is that in most cases the kids are probably going to be better off if the parents can work through the rough patch and create a good home. And again. I'm not saying that 2 folks that clearly cant get along is better-its not.