Re: Post nothing for good reason (NSFW)

Hyperv12 · #8676

Difference between a $120 Tomahawk and a $50 bone-in Rib-eye.

megman · #8677

Deathproof · #8678

megman wrote: ↑Mon Dec 27, 2021 4:14 am

My favorite TV show ever. New season came out yesterday at 11 and I was so excited about it I fucking vomited. Puked Starbucks Honey Oat Latte all over the living room floor. Thank Christ the maid hadn't left yet or she'd be scraping dried puke up right now.

Blast · #8679

Deathproof wrote: ↑Mon Dec 27, 2021 3:58 pm
megman wrote: ↑Mon Dec 27, 2021 4:14 am
My favorite TV show ever. New season came out yesterday at 11 and I was so excited about it I fucking vomited. Puked Starbucks Honey Oat Latte all over the living room floor. Thank Christ the maid hadn't left yet or she'd be scraping dried puke up right now.

I was concidering getting a house keeper for once a month deep cleanings. They worth the money?

B-Tender · #8680

Blast wrote: ↑Mon Dec 27, 2021 7:12 pm
Deathproof wrote: ↑Mon Dec 27, 2021 3:58 pm
megman wrote: ↑Mon Dec 27, 2021 4:14 am
My favorite TV show ever. New season came out yesterday at 11 and I was so excited about it I fucking vomited. Puked Starbucks Honey Oat Latte all over the living room floor. Thank Christ the maid hadn't left yet or she'd be scraping dried puke up right now.
I was concidering getting a house keeper for once a month deep cleanings. They worth the money?

If you don't like sweeping dusting mopping and scrubbing, it's worth the money.

Bluespruce1964 · #8681

less boobs, said no one ever

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Bluespruce1964 · #8682

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Reservoir Dog · #8683

Plane crash caught on doorbell video.

Deathproof · #8684

Blast wrote: ↑Mon Dec 27, 2021 7:12 pm
Deathproof wrote: ↑Mon Dec 27, 2021 3:58 pm
megman wrote: ↑Mon Dec 27, 2021 4:14 am
My favorite TV show ever. New season came out yesterday at 11 and I was so excited about it I fucking vomited. Puked Starbucks Honey Oat Latte all over the living room floor. Thank Christ the maid hadn't left yet or she'd be scraping dried puke up right now.
I was concidering getting a house keeper for once a month deep cleanings. They worth the money?

Fuck yes. What's the alternative? Me doing the cleaning myself? Fuck that shit specifically. Better to pay for a maid than have to put Kerra to work cleaning.

Bluespruce1964 · #8685

A lady goes to the doctor and complains that her husband is losing interest in sex. The doctor gives her a pill, but warns her that it's still experimental. He tells her to slip it into his mashed potatoes at dinner, so that night, she does just that.

About a week later, she’s back at the doctor, where she says, "Doc, the pill worked great! I put it in the potatoes like you said! It wasn't five minutes later that he jumped up, raked all the food and dishes onto the floor, grabbed me, ripped all my clothes off, and ravaged me right there on the table!" The doctor says, "I’m sorry, we didn’t realize the pill was that strong! The foundation will be glad to pay for any damages." "Nah," she says, "that's okay. We're never going back to that restaurant anyway."

Bluespruce1964 · #8686

A lady goes to the doctor and complains that her husband is losing interest in sex. The doctor gives her a pill, but warns her that it's still experimental. He tells her to slip it into his mashed potatoes at dinner, so that night, she does just that.

About a week later, she’s back at the doctor, where she says, "Doc, the pill worked great! I put it in the potatoes like you said! It wasn't five minutes later that he jumped up, raked all the food and dishes onto the floor, grabbed me, ripped all my clothes off, and ravaged me right there on the table!" The doctor says, "I’m sorry, we didn’t realize the pill was that strong! The foundation will be glad to pay for any damages." "Nah," she says, "that's okay. We're never going back to that restaurant anyway."

Bluespruce1964 · #8687

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Deathproof · #8688

Bluespruce1964 wrote: ↑Wed Dec 29, 2021 12:59 am A lady goes to the doctor and complains that her husband is losing interest in sex. The doctor gives her a pill, but warns her that it's still experimental. He tells her to slip it into his mashed potatoes at dinner, so that night, she does just that.

About a week later, she’s back at the doctor, where she says, "Doc, the pill worked great! I put it in the potatoes like you said! It wasn't five minutes later that he jumped up, raked all the food and dishes onto the floor, grabbed me, ripped all my clothes off, and ravaged me right there on the table!" The doctor says, "I’m sorry, we didn’t realize the pill was that strong! The foundation will be glad to pay for any damages." "Nah," she says, "that's okay. We're never going back to that restaurant anyway."

This joke sucks.

Deathproof · #8689

Bluespruce1964 wrote: ↑Wed Dec 29, 2021 12:59 am A lady goes to the doctor and complains that her husband is losing interest in sex. The doctor gives her a pill, but warns her that it's still experimental. He tells her to slip it into his mashed potatoes at dinner, so that night, she does just that.

About a week later, she’s back at the doctor, where she says, "Doc, the pill worked great! I put it in the potatoes like you said! It wasn't five minutes later that he jumped up, raked all the food and dishes onto the floor, grabbed me, ripped all my clothes off, and ravaged me right there on the table!" The doctor says, "I’m sorry, we didn’t realize the pill was that strong! The foundation will be glad to pay for any damages." "Nah," she says, "that's okay. We're never going back to that restaurant anyway."

This joke is fucking hilarious.

Bluespruce1964 · #8690

can I ask what happened to cute german girl? she was very cute.

B-Tender · #8691

Bluespruce1964 wrote: ↑Wed Dec 29, 2021 1:10 am can I ask what happened to cute german girl? she was very cute.

He woke up?

Deathproof · #8692

Bluespruce1964 wrote: ↑Wed Dec 29, 2021 1:10 am can I ask what happened to cute german girl? she was very cute.

I dropped her off at the airport and happily have not heard from her since.

Bluespruce1964 · #8693

Bluespruce1964 · #8694

rule34 · #8695

Bluespruce1964 wrote: ↑Wed Dec 29, 2021 1:10 am can I ask what happened to cute german girl? she was very cute.

There was no german girl.

Bluespruce1964 · #8696

Deathproof · #8697

rule34 wrote: ↑Wed Dec 29, 2021 2:40 pm
Bluespruce1964 wrote: ↑Wed Dec 29, 2021 1:10 am can I ask what happened to cute german girl? she was very cute.
There was no german girl.

There was, and is, but you believe what you want.

rule34 · #8698

Deathproof wrote: ↑Wed Dec 29, 2021 3:05 pm
rule34 wrote: ↑Wed Dec 29, 2021 2:40 pm
Bluespruce1964 wrote: ↑Wed Dec 29, 2021 1:10 am can I ask what happened to cute german girl? she was very cute.
There was no german girl.
There was, and is, but you believe what you want.

Uh Huh

Hydroseismic · #8699

Where's Divertexas? bought these knifes and cutting boards made with mesquite wood. One of the boards came with a complimentary wood burrowing beetle.

Hydroseismic · #8700

disco wrote: ↑Wed Dec 29, 2021 11:56 pm
rule34 wrote: ↑Wed Dec 29, 2021 2:40 pm
Bluespruce1964 wrote: ↑Wed Dec 29, 2021 1:10 am can I ask what happened to cute german girl? she was very cute.
There was no german girl.
WHAT?!!!! No one has ever lied on the forums!! I for one would be shocked, shocked I tell you to get lambasted (is that a word)?

Not too long ago my son 22 told me I was one of the most skeptical people he's ever known (when it comes to the internet that is) he was showing me something and I said "yeah I don't believe that". And he got all irritated. To those who know me behind the scenes or the real me know, I'm always thinking I'm being punked. Trust is a fucky social construct.