LOLZ (NSFW)

[Animal]

I am trying to figure out what that tape measure is actually measuring. 5 inches lines up almost exactly with 160 on the other side.

140 lines up with 4-3/8. 70 lines up with 2-3/16. So if that is a tape measure, then its actually 5 inches (not 3 feet 5 inches etc).

Its not metric.

[hawkfan8812]

It's cuntric.

[pork]

That’s what they use in the nfl. Depends what side the refs are on

[Reservoir Dog]

I am trying to figure out what that tape measure is actually measuring. 5 inches lines up almost exactly with 160 on the other side.

140 lines up with 4-3/8. 70 lines up with 2-3/16. So if that is a tape measure, then its actually 5 inches (not 3 feet 5 inches etc).

Its not metric.

The 160 below 5" would be 32nd's of an inch. Although I have no idea why someone would be measuring that small with a tape measure.

[Antknot]

I am trying to figure out what that tape measure is actually measuring. 5 inches lines up almost exactly with 160 on the other side.

140 lines up with 4-3/8. 70 lines up with 2-3/16. So if that is a tape measure, then its actually 5 inches (not 3 feet 5 inches etc).

Its not metric.

1/32 per mark.

[Animal]

I am trying to figure out what that tape measure is actually measuring. 5 inches lines up almost exactly with 160 on the other side.

140 lines up with 4-3/8. 70 lines up with 2-3/16. So if that is a tape measure, then its actually 5 inches (not 3 feet 5 inches etc).

Its not metric.

The 160 below 5" would be 32nd's of an inch. Although I have no idea why someone would be measuring that small with a tape measure.

ah. yeah, that makes sense. i wonder where the market is for guys that measure large quantities of stuff in only 32nds of an inch. it probably has to do with belt sizes or something like that. Something where a 5" circumference belt is a 160 belt.

[rule34]

Jeff walks into a bar and sees his friend Paul slumped over the bar. He walks over and asks Paul what's wrong. "Well," replies Paul, "you know that beautiful girl at work that I wanted to ask out, but I got an erection every time I saw her?" "Yes," replies Jeff with a laugh. "Well," says Paul, straightening up, "I finally plucked up the courage to ask her out, and she agreed." "That's great!" says Jeff, "When are you going out?" "I went to meet her this evening," continues Paul, "but I was worried I'd get an erection again. So I got some duct tape and taped my penis to my leg, so if I did, it wouldn't show." "Sensible" says Jeff. "So I get to her door," says Paul, "and I rang her doorbell. She answered it in the sheerest, tiniest dress you ever saw." "And what happened then?" (Paul slumps back over the bar again.) "I kicked her in the face."

[Reservoir Dog]

A man walks into a bar and sees his wife in the corner giving a man a blowjob.

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?!?!" he screams at her.

"Paying off your bar tab." she replies.

The man ponders for a few seconds and then says, "Carry on".

[CHEEZY17]

[rule34]

Wrong thread.

[CHEEZY17]

Wrong thread.

Nope. I found it amusing so I put it here. It certainly could fit in the wordle thread too though.

[Animal]

[Bluespruce1964]

That’s fucking funny!

[Homebrew]

[Deathproof]

Wrong thread.

Ok

[Homebrew]

[jsdspif]

My old high school principal hired Seinfeld some years ago for some type of event,may have been a new years eve thing in a bar at a hotel he (my old principal) now owns. My old principal went from principal to investment broker to marrying a billionaire and now he owns alot of stuff. When he was my principal my friends and I went to the mall on a friday night,i was 15 or 16 at tthe time and we got very high before we went in. As I walk (barely) thru jc penny a hand slaps me on my shoulder and someone says "you're walking pretty slow for a young man" I turn around and it's my principal with a big shit eating grin on his face. So the rest of the weekend I figure I'm in trouble. Monday morning at school I see him walking towards me and I figure here it comes, and he got to me and just said "did you have a good weekend?" and walked away.

[Bluespruce1964]

Why not enter this in the jspddf contest z?

[CHEEZY17]

[Homebrew]

[Reservoir Dog]

[Whackov]

[Homebrew]

That's at least two cows worth of leather right there. Wow.

[Bluespruce1964]

[Animal]

what in the fuck? Howie, bring that car back.