LOLZ (NSFW)

[CentralTexasCrude]

I wonder what the backstory is here.

I'm guessing after the WNBA "Free Brittney Griner" rally broke up, they thought the Mexican guy looked Russian enough.

[CHEEZY17]

[jsdspif]

if i had to guess, they would be leaving a roller derby event.

I'd say no fuckin' way. I've went to some sort of roller derby championships a few years back and I never saw so many ugly lesbians. Alot of them could drink beer though and alot of it. Quite a few kept kissing each other,i'd never seen so many lesbians in one place.It wouldn't have been bad if they were hot but most of the couples were the manly looking lesbian and just your average looking or below average looking lady partner. Around here (michigan) it seems to attract lesbians and even the juniour "derby girls" many of them seem as though they are "junior lesbians". I don't have problems with any of that,i just didn't know that's what roller derby championships would look like.

[Antknot]

Paddy had long heard the stories of an amazing family tradition. It seems that his father, grandfather and great-grandfather had all been able to walk on water on their 18th birthday. On that special day, they'd each walked across the lake to the pub on the far side for their first legal drink. So when Paddy's, 18th birthday came 'round, he and his pal Mick, took a boat out to the middle of the lake, Paddy, stepped out of the boat ...and nearly drowned! Mick just barely managed to pull him to safety. Furious and confused, Paddy, went to see his grandmother. 'Grandma,' he asked, "It's my 18th birthday, so why can't I walk 'cross the lake like my father, his father, and his father before him?" Granny looked deeply into Paddy's, troubled brown eyes and said, "Because your father, your grandfather and your great grandfather were all born in December, when the lake is frozen, and you were born in August, ya dip sh*t.

[Antknot]

Two good ole' boys in a Tennessee trailer park were sitting around talking one afternoon, over a cold beer, after getting off work at the local Nissan plant.

After a while, the 1st guy says to the 2nd guy, "If'n I was to sneak over to your trailer Saturday, bang your old lady while you was off a huntin' and she got pregnant and had a baby, would that make us kin?”

The 2nd guy crooked his head sideways for a minute, scratched his head and squinted his eyes thinking really hard about the question.

Finally, he says, "Well, I don't know about kin, but it would make us even!"

“Life should not be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well-preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside in a cloud of smoke, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming “Wow! What a Ride!” - Hunter S. Thompson

[Antknot]

[Antknot]

[Antknot]

[Animal]

but that looks like a hoe.

[Burn1dwn]

but that looks like a hoe.

She turned into a ho and he aged 15 years in the 5 years.

[Animal]

i'm assuming that's orkypay, right?

edited to avoid doxxing.

[Charliesheen]

[Bluespruce1964]

An American tourist in Australia got hit by a car.
He woke up in a hospital with a doctor standing over him.

He asked the doctor, "Did I come here to die?"

The doctor replied, "Nah, mate, you came here yesterday."

[Bluespruce1964]

Joe rented an apartment and went to the lobby to put his name on his mailbox

While there, an attractive young lady came out of the apartment next to the mailboxes wearing a robe.

Joe smiled at the young woman and she started a conversation with him. As they talked, her robe slipped open, and it was obvious that she had nothing else on. Poor Joe broke out into a sweat trying to maintain eye contact.

After a few minutes, she placed her hand on his arm and said, “Let’s go to my apartment. I hear someone coming.”

He followed her into her flat. She closed the door and leaned against it, allowing her robe to fall off. Now completely naked, she purred at him, “What would you say is my best feature?”

Flustered and embarrassed, Joe finally squeaked, “It’s got to be your ears!”

Astounded and a little hurt she asked, “My ears? Look at these breasts—they are full and 100% natural! I work out every day! Look at my skin—no blemishes anywhere! How can you feel that the best part of my body is my ears?!”

Clearing his throat, Joe stammered, “Outside, when you said you heard someone coming?”

“Yes.”

“Well, that was me.”

[Antknot]

[Animal]

LMFAO!!!!

[disco.moon]

Are any of you following the Johnny Depp / Amber Heard trial? She's certifiable! She cut the tip of his finger off and physically abused him, she also pooped in his bed lol.

[Animal]

what were the circumstances surrounding the bed pooping event?

[Animal]

In case anyone doesn't know Amber Heard








Careful. NSFW^^

[disco.moon]

what were the circumstances surrounding the bed pooping event?

What I can gather is she was upset with him while they were in Australia, he was filming one of the many Pirates movies. A huge fight started over a "post nuptial" agreement. She flipped out right after they were married. I think she pooped in the bed before cutting off his finger. That would fight and he would hide out in several of the bedrooms and bathrooms. She was trying to get him to come talk to her, he wouldn't. She then sent him a picture of poop in the bed. It's wild.

[disco.moon]

Poop story

[Animal]

when he says "go down there" he's talking about eating pussy, right?

[disco.moon]

when he says "go down there" he's talking about eating pussy, right?

Sadly no....poop bed.

[Antknot]

The big game hunter walked in the bar and bragged to everyone about his hunting skills. The man was undoubtedly a good shot and no one could dispute that. But then he said that they could blindfold him and he would recognize any animal's skin from its feel, and if he could locate the bullet hole he would even tell them what caliber the bullet was that killed the animal. The hunter said that he was willing to prove it if they would put up the drinks, and so the bet was on.

They blindfolded him carefully and took him to his first animal skin. After feeling it for a few moments, he announced "Bear." Then he felt the bullet hole and declared, "Shot with a .308 rifle." He was right.

They brought him another skin, one that someone had in their car trunk. He took a bit longer this time and then said, "Elk, shot with a 7mm Mag rifle." He was right again.

Through the night, he proved his skills several more times, every time against a round of drinks. Finally he staggered home drunk and went to sleep. The next morning he got up and saw in the mirror that he had one hell of a shiner.

He said to his wife, "I know I was drunk last night, but I think I'd remember a brawl. Where did I get this black eye?"

His wife angrily replied, "I gave it to you. You got into bed and put your hand down my panties. Then you fiddled around a bit and loudly announced, 'Skunk, killed with an axe.'"

[stonedmegman]